Modern dating apps have turned future faking into an absolute sport, which is when someone makes big promises to you about your shared future.
But if you went on a date or two with a person who was already talking about getting into a committed relationship with you or having you meet their parents, would you be worried about their intentions, or convinced they just know true love when they see it?
This 25-year-old girl met a 28-year-old guy on a dating app, and he was quick to plan a first date for them. It was pretty amazing, and he told her that he could picture them truly having a relationship.
Their chemistry was off the charts, and she was attracted to him, but she didn’t do anything with him on the first date. The following day, she sent him a text saying thank you for such a great time, and he took an entire day to get back to her.
“I ended up waiting to reply, and he eventually double-texted me. We then made plans for another date and were texting every day. Part of me thought the texting every day was a red flag as it’s building [a] fake connection,” she explained.
“We end up on our date on Thursday, and it’s going really well again. We’re having a good time, and he’s saying how we’ll have to come up with our story of meeting (he doesn’t like Hinge).”
“Date is very fun, [though] at some point he demanded I pay the next round (which I would have offered, I’d paid for the first round of the night). We are still getting on and end up going back to his, where we try to sleep together.”
He wasn’t exactly in the mood, which she had no experience with, so that made things a bit awkward. They still did a bit together, and since he didn’t have any protection handy, she refused to sleep with him, though she did sleep over.
He was cuddling her and being all cute, so the following morning, she did sleep with him, and she ignored that one boundary that she had set the night before, which left her feeling disappointed in herself.
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After they hooked up, this guy promised to cook her dinner, brought up how he wanted her to meet his family, and said he would like to take her to a museum.
She was convinced a third date would come out of this, but she got anxious out of nowhere about when she would see him for that.
She did have a little panic attack and said she would see him while leaving his place, not that she would see him soon, in case he didn’t end up reaching out to her for another date.
“Anyway, out of principle, I thought I’d wait for him to text, and it’s been 4 days with nothing. My question is, should I have reached out given the performance issues in the night, and maybe he’s embarrassed?” she wondered.
“Or should I just accept I got played and he was just wanting [one thing] from this? Fresh to the dating game and a bit of a lover girl, so please be understanding.”
I am afraid this is a case of future faking, so he could get something out of her, and now that he got that, she will never hear from him again.
It is concerning when someone says after only being on a date or two that they want you to meet their family, or they bring up a serious relationship with you. It’s too soon into knowing someone to determine if that will happen.
She should not wait around for him to reach out for her, since that’s definitely not going to happen, but she should be more careful next time.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
