She’s Concerned That Her Boyfriend’s Neurodiversity Will Negatively Impact Their Future Together
This 29-year-old woman has spent the last 6 years dating her 30-year-old boyfriend, and they are actively talking about when they would like to get engaged as well as married.
Discussing such serious topics has really got her thinking about their relationship in ways she has not before.
She is so happy being with her boyfriend, and the love they have for one another is really special.
They communicate in a healthy and honest way, and they adore being together. They also happen to have values that are quite similar, and they share the same ideologies around money and how to spend it.
When they do have an issue, they’re easily able to resolve things. She says they are best friends, and they are always there to support the other person no matter what.
“The thing I wonder about is how my boyfriend’s neurodiversity will affect our future together,” she explained.
“He was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum in the last several years. This made a lot of sense because he lives a very routine-based life, and he has certain rigid behaviors that are not harmful – more like quirks. He is quite an objective person. He also is not keen on having a large circle of friends.”
“To be honest, I may be on the spectrum myself, as I have a lot of similar traits. However, in spite of my own tendency to love routine, I hope to go through life expanding my repertoire of experiences – to try new things and hobbies, to become more social, to experience life in different places, to grow – and I want to do this with my boyfriend.”
Since her boyfriend is so routine-oriented, her desire to push outside of her comfort zone hasn’t come across as ideal for him.
Elena Kratovich – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
After realizing her boyfriend was so sensitive to this, she started to limit her own experiences to make him happy.
Although their professional lives have grown and advanced throughout the duration of their relationship, she thinks that the lives they lead outside of the office are becoming stunted.
“I also worry that, in the future, it will make the changes of having a family too destabilizing for him and, as a result, very destabilizing to our relationship,” she said.
“How well-founded are my worries? I would love any perspective, especially if anyone has experience being in a relationship with a person on the spectrum.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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