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Anxious Attachment Typically Forms Early In Childhood, And He’s A Wellness Coach Sharing How You Can Finally Heal Yourself From It

wavebreak3 - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Research has identified four types of attachment styles—secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and fearful-avoidant attachment. An attachment style is a specific pattern of behavior you display in relationships based on your levels of anxiety and avoidance.

It’s usually formed early in childhood as a response to the relationship you had with your primary caregiver. As an adult, your attachment style is thought to mirror the dynamic you had with your caregiver as a child.

A secure attachment is considered the healthy ideal for relationships. It refers to the ability to cultivate safe, stable relationships with others. People with secure attachment can trust others, set appropriate boundaries, and are not afraid of intimacy. They feel confident enough to have time away from their partners and take responsibility for their own mistakes.

The other types of attachment styles are known as insecure attachments. TikToker Mikah Jones (@beyondmikah) is explaining how you can heal your anxious attachment.

“People who are a secure attachment have a healthy relationship with their anxious attachment,” he began the video. “I see a lot of anxious attachments want to become secure attachments, but they identify really strongly with how much trauma they have, how triggered they are, and just how much healing they think they need to do.”

He added that a person with an anxious attachment is just more accustomed to cultivating anxiety than security in their relationships. If this is you, the fact is that trauma has taught you that anxiety is safer than a calm nervous system or someone who loves you unconditionally.

Then, he shared a helpful exercise you can do to achieve a secure attachment style. The trick is to treat your anxious attachment as a part of you. First, he set the scene with a hypothetical backstory.

“So, let’s say you’re in a relationship, and you haven’t heard from your partner in a few days. Or it’s been a few days since they’ve given you some reassurance that they love you, and you’re experiencing a lot of anxiety,” said Mikah.

“You’re texting them a lot, or maybe you’re getting resentful that your partner just doesn’t love you, and you’re showing all this love to them, and they just keep pushing you away.”

wavebreak3 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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