Her Sister-In-Law Accused Her Of Being Vindictive And Having A Baby Out Of Spite
This 24-year-old woman and her brother, 26, are no longer in contact because her sister-in-law despises her for having a child.
Last year, she and her then-boyfriend, now-husband, went to visit her brother and his wife for Christmas.
Over the years, she and her brother had a fairly close relationship, and she and her sister-in-law got along pretty well.
While they were all talking and relaxing, her brother’s wife continuously discussed how she really wanted to have a baby, but her brother wasn’t on the same page because he wanted to wait a while before they crossed that bridge. Her brother’s hesitation was the reason they weren’t trying to have a baby yet.
During the conversation, she chimed in and said that even though she and her boyfriend weren’t trying to have a baby at the time, it wouldn’t be a bad thing in her eyes if she did get pregnant.
Before she met her boyfriend, she never wanted to have children, but she eventually changed her mind.
Her boyfriend had a son from a previous relationship, and she one day decided that she did want to have children with him in the future. But she and her boyfriend weren’t planning on having a child yet at that point in time.
After that, the rest of their time together went great, just like always, as did her relationship with her brother and sister-in-law after visiting them. Unfortunately, that all changed a few weeks later when she learned that she was pregnant.
She kept the news quiet for several weeks, but the more time went on, she wanted to spill the beans to her brother.
Evgeniy Kalinovskiy – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
One day, she was talking to him on FaceTime and let him know that he would be an uncle soon. At the time, his wife was right next to him.
“The energy completely shifted. He was happy for me, but his wife wouldn’t say a word. I just shrugged it off until a few days later, I noticed she unfriended me on Facebook and then discovered me unfollowed me on all social media,” she said.
She contacted her sister-in-law to find out why she wasn’t able to be thrilled about her pregnancy and why this news drove her to unfriend her on social media.
Instead of giving her a clear explanation, her brother’s wife claimed that she didn’t unfollow her because she was pregnant, but she didn’t believe her because it happened right after she told her brother and sister-in-law about the pregnancy.
Moving forward, her brother started distancing himself from her. He and his wife didn’t attend family gatherings when they knew she would be there. She hadn’t seen her brother for months.
Over the course of the several months that her brother wasn’t talking to her, he and her sister-in-law would see their mother, and afterward, her mother would fill her in on what they told her during their visit.
“My sister-in-law was saying that I got pregnant to be vindictive because I knew she wanted a baby, but my brother wouldn’t try for one. She said my name gave her anxiety, and after that, my mom and brother were no longer allowed to talk about me or say my name around her,” she explained.
After her mother told her this, she sent her brother a text message to share her side in hopes of resolving the issue.
She explained that her pregnancy was unplanned, and she would never dream of purposely getting pregnant in order to hurt someone.
Obviously, that is a huge, life-altering choice just to aggravate someone else, and she isn’t even a vindictive person in the first place.
She added that she would love the chance to have a conversation with him in person so that they could talk through how they could work on their relationship and get back to where they used to be.
Unfortunately, her sister-in-law discovered that she’d sent this text to her brother, also realizing that she’d heard what she told her mother about her.
So, her sister-in-law scolded her mother for letting her know what she’d been saying. She acknowledged that it made sense for her sister-in-law to be angry because she’d assumed that the conversation was going to stay between her and her mother.
On the other hand, since she’s her mother’s daughter, she is the priority, and she and her mother are very close, so her mother was obviously going to let her know what her sister-in-law said about her.
Eventually, after trying for six months to persuade her brother to talk with her in person, he finally agreed.
During their discussion, her brother told her he was sorry, and it felt like he could see where she was coming from.
Also, she got the impression that he was on the same page about wanting to repair their relationship.
She let her brother know that all she was hoping for was for him to say sorry because her pregnancy hadn’t been easy, and she didn’t have much support from any of their family since she wasn’t married yet to her boyfriend when she got pregnant.
Throughout her pregnancy, she experienced a lot of loneliness because her family members shunned her due to their religious beliefs.
In response, her brother assured her that their relationship would improve going forward, and he added that he and his wife were now trying to have a baby.
Prior to this, her brother had been insistent that he wanted to wait a couple of years before he was ready to start trying for a baby.
From her perspective, her sister-in-law isn’t in a great place mentally. Her brother’s wife drinks alcohol a lot and has gone through a lot of difficult times over the last few years.
While she can relate to how tough that can be, she doesn’t think any of this can be used as an excuse for not allowing her brother to talk to or see her.
Early next year, her brother and sister-in-law will be having their first child, but they still haven’t been communicating with her.
Sadly, the last time she saw her brother in person was at a funeral after one of their family members passed away. At the time, she was a couple of weeks away from her due date, and this was when her brother told her that his wife was pregnant.
He added that he would be sure to visit her in the hospital after she gave birth to her child. Now, her daughter is 3 months old, and her brother never followed through on his promise. He still hasn’t met her or asked about her at all.
Her brother hardly talks to their mother these days, and he let their mother know that he won’t visit her on his own anymore. He apparently would only see his mother with his wife present.
“My mom and I have lost all respect for her and no longer want anything to do with her. She’s threatened me and my family, won’t let me see my brother, and won’t even speak to me. I haven’t seen her in a year now. She’s caused a divide in my family and spun it to make me look like the bad guy by telling everyone I got pregnant to spite her,” she shared.
Finally, she contacted her brother one last time to let him know that she would no longer put effort into repairing their relationship when the tension wasn’t her fault.
She told him that she thought it would be better if they didn’t communicate until he was able to defend her and put in the work to resolve the conflict, adding that she hoped his wife was able to come back to reality.
She told her brother that they shouldn’t talk because she was trying to keep his well-being in mind. His wife was clearly trying to keep the two of them apart, so if her sister-in-law found out that they were communicating, it would cause problems for her brother.
It would be horrible if something happened to her brother due to her reaching out to him, and she would feel extremely guilty and like it was her fault.
Before she got pregnant, she hadn’t realized her brother was being emotionally abused and controlled by his wife. She acknowledged that she doesn’t think it’s only her brother’s fault for the fact that he won’t talk to her.
In hindsight, she realized that her sister-in-law is the person responsible for most of how everything unraveled. While she’s hurt that her brother hasn’t taken her side, she’s aware of the fact that he’s caught in the middle.
Luckily, when she texted her brother, she made it clear that she would be there for him whenever he was willing to reach out for support, but she knew that he had to be the one to reach out. She couldn’t force him to make decisions.
In the meantime, she hears updates about her brother through her parents, who talk to him on a weekly basis.
Even though she knows that she isn’t the one in the wrong, about half of her family members are on her sister-in-law’s side. She doesn’t share her family’s religious views, so the idea of a pregnancy before marriage never bothered her.
Plus, her brother is the favorite of their family, while she has never been.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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