Her Husband Lost $60,000 On Stocks, Then Emotionally Cheated On Her
For three years now, this 32-year-old woman has been married to her 33-year-old husband. She says their relationship has had highs and lows, and at one point, she was financially supporting the two of them for close to a year as her husband struggled with depression and a career change.
They got into arguments over the division of their housework, as she felt as if she was unfairly doing more than she should, but overall, their marriage was alright, and she was quite happy.
A year ago, she learned that she was pregnant, and she and her husband were thrilled at the opportunity to become parents.
They instantly began planning for the arrival of their baby, but she was upset that their house was very little and tight for a party of three.
She also was struggling to understand why she and her husband were only getting into more and more debt when they were living well within their means.
She also works as a nurse and makes excellent money, further adding to her confusion over their gloomy financial situation.
During the year her husband didn’t work, she had taken out a line of credit to help support them, but she never purchased new clothing or paid a lot of money for their groceries, as she always got what was on sale.
So she was really failing to see how they were so far in the hole. Her husband insisted that he was taking money from their joint account to pay down his credit card debt and tuition that had accumulated while he was jobless.
While her husband once again has a job, he made a mistake and gave his company the incorrect information, so they have been depositing his checks into his own personal account instead of their joint account.
Pixel-Shot – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
This never was an issue to her, as her husband transferred money into their joint account, and while the transferred money helped some, it was never enough to help pay off a significant amount of their debt.
“Finally, one day, I noticed that my computer had saved his bank login info and logged in because things weren’t adding up, and I owed almost 30k on my credit line,” she explained.
“That’s when I realized that he wasn’t transferring his whole checks and had made varying transfers totaling over 60k over the past 3-4 years into an investment app.”
Her husband had been taking money and investing it into stocks, then losing it all. She approached him about this, and he promised that he would quit with his bad investments.
But, this past summer, she once more noticed a transfer that looked suspicious to her, so she confronted her husband and stated she would be leaving him.
However, they worked through that, and he has quit investing money. They are very slowly paying off their debt, and they are down from $60,000 to $20,000 already on what they owe.
In the meantime, she has been eyeing all of their accounts in an effort to make sure that her husband is sticking to his word.
She then found out that her husband was carrying on an emotional affair with one of his online friends while she was pregnant.
She discovered their messages, and her husband would tell this woman she was gorgeous and spend hours on the phone with her.
They also sent photos to one another and even planned to go on a weekend trip while she was close to giving birth.
“I broke down and cried about how much it hurt, how we didn’t have the money for the trip, how I had wanted to go somewhere with him for a baby moon,” she said.
“He said that this woman was a close friend of his and he might never get a chance to hang out with her after the baby came (we live in different countries). They ended up not going, but only because it sounds like they agreed they were playing with fire and called it off. This happened over the phone when I wasn’t there, so I don’t know the details other than what he told me.”
“Since then, he’s been working lots to pay off debt and says he wants to work things out and that our family means everything to him. I ended up having the baby prematurely, and even though I’d never tell him, I think it’s because of the stress he put me through. My baby boy is fine and healthy after a stay in the NICU, but I’m emotionally wrecked.”
“I feel like an awful person because inside, I’m overtaken with jealousy and sadness when I go to my friend’s beautifully decorated house or when I helped another friend move into their new house big enough for a family or when people talk about how sweet and considerate their spouses are.”
If you’re wondering why she hasn’t left her husband after all of this, she says it’s because she has been holding out hope that he will improve his behavior.
Additionally, she wants her child to have both of his parents in his life. She’s also humiliated to admit to everyone around her that her marriage has fallen apart so quickly.
Her husband refuses to go to counseling with her, so that’s not an option for getting them back on track. She has so far confided in one of her friends about the reality of her life right now, and this friend has offered to allow her to come live with them if she needs to, but she’s not ready to do that yet.
“I know that I was stupid not to realize that something was going on with the money at least far earlier,” she continued.
“I know that I’m probably stupid to try and make things work after everything he’s done and lied about.”
“Writing it down in black and white makes everything so obvious, but I trusted him. And now I have to try and rebuild my life with my baby. I just needed to get this out there somewhere because I feel like I’m going crazy.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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