Not long ago, this 30-year-old woman learned that her husband, 29, with whom she’d been with for seven years, had been cheating on her for the past seven months. She works full-time night shifts and also cares for their two daughters all the time.
While she acknowledged that she didn’t prioritize their love life as much as she would have liked to, she attempted to improve the situation. She got childcare so that she wasn’t exhausted and could focus on sleeping with her husband, but it didn’t work.
“I was always shut down and told I was the problem, and he’s had another woman this whole time. This all came to light just over a week ago,” she said.
Over the past two months, their relationship was improving, but her husband began experiencing intense panic attacks. Eventually, she learned this was happening because of his guilt and uncertainty about whether he should confess to her or stop cheating and prioritize improving their marriage.
“In the middle of my overnight shift last Saturday, he came out and told me that he had been having an affair, but they hadn’t been physical, just texting, talking, and making plans to meet up,” she explained.
According to her husband, he’d only been having this emotional affair for two weeks, and he never went through with hooking up with the other woman. She was understandably heartbroken and upset.
While her husband had been terrible and disrespectful over the last two years of their marriage, she deeply loved him and had hoped to resolve their issues. It hurt to realize that her husband was capable of deceiving her and being unfaithful.
The following day, she trusted her instinct, which told her that her husband wasn’t telling her the full story. She wanted to look through his phone records, so she tracked down his affair partner’s phone number from one of her husband’s and affair partner’s co-workers.
When she searched for the phone number in the records, it turned out that her husband had been communicating with this woman for seven months.
“I asked to see the texts, and he claimed they were gone, and he couldn’t retrieve them. He swears they were never physical, but he’s not the type to keep pursuing someone that long without getting anything,” she shared.
Before she learned of her husband’s affair, he constantly gushed about how beautiful this woman was, but he complained that the woman was irritating and always hit on him. She was suspicious and asked him for more information, but he assured her he wasn’t cheating.
After confessing about the affair, her husband said he hoped to move forward and continue their marriage after resolving their problems.
While considering the idea, she changed her mind when her husband didn’t do anything to prove he was willing to do the work involved in improving their relationship.
Her husband hasn’t emotionally supported her through the difficult thoughts and emotions she’s been experiencing, and he hasn’t researched marriage counseling with her.
She is certain her husband had hooked up with the other woman and was only pretending he hadn’t.
They have three more months left on the lease, so she’s debating on being a wonderful wife and acting like their marriage and love life are fantastic before moving out when their lease is up as a means of revenge.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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