Abby Connolly
While taking the time to reconnect and forgive any friends or family members who did you wrong before it’s too late can be an amazing experience, there’s only so much healing you can do within a short amount of time.
One woman is wondering if she made the right decision after refusing to get in touch and connect with her estranged father’s affair partner and second family before he dies.
She’s always had a complicated relationship with her father, who made many mistakes when she was a kid. When she was little, her dad had many affairs behind her mom’s back. But when she was 10-years-old, one of his affair partners became pregnant, and her mom found out, and her parents split up.
Although she didn’t want him to because of his actions, her dad tried fighting for her immediately after the split, wanting custody and for her to join him in family therapy. She refused and even ran away from home at 13 to avoid going to his house on the weekends.
“We were extremely low contact until about a year ago when I found out via one of my aunts that he is dying of liver disease,” she said.
“I got back in contact [with him] to have some closure. It’s been four months, and I feel like a weight has been lifted.”
“I’ve made my peace with everything as far as I’m concerned. I’ve been helping out with [his] medical costs to keep him as comfortable as possible. I’ve never had any contact with [his] affair partner or their kids, [but] a few days ago, I was visiting my dad at his care facility, and he brought up that he would like me to talk to the extended family about letting his affair partner and the kids have contact.”
Her dad wanted her to reach out to her close relatives and encourage them to get in contact with and try to bond with his affair partner and his kids, whom none of them have met.
He implied that he wanted her and her immediate relatives to bond with his second family and support them after he was gone.
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