Are You Really In Love, Or Are You Just Kind Of Obsessed?
Crossing The Line From Love To Obsession Isn’t Always Obvious
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Love vs. obsession – two things that can quickly become blurred when you first meet someone, and those sparks fly. It’s sometimes hard to know if you really are in love with someone or if you’re just kind of, well, obsessed.
It’s Important To Know The Difference – Love Is A Choice
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To find out if you’re really in love or just obsessed, you must know the difference between the two. Love is a choice. It is a conscious effort and devotion to someone through the good and bad times.
This Is What Obsession Is
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On the other hand, an obsession is just a heavy infatuation mostly comprised of novelty.
It’s Easy To Obsess When A Relationship Is New
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Obsession and infatuation are heavy at the beginning of a relationship. Everything is new and exciting.
But It Fades In Time
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You’ve got all those chemicals in your brain telling you this new person is the greatest thing ever. You can’t imagine being away from them for even a second. Usually, that feeling will fade after about 6-12 months.
Then You Need To Make A Choice
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When the obsession has faded, you need to choose if this is worth staying for the long term. Now, you decide to love them rather than be in love with them.
How Exactly Can You Tell The Difference? We Have 5 Signs
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So, how can you tell the difference between an obsession born out of infatuation and being in love? Here are five signs to help you know the difference:
1: Love Is For The Long Haul
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1: Love is a long-term connection that is built. Infatuation is instant and short-lived.
2: Love Grows
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2: Love grows from experiences shared over time. Infatuation clouds your judgment and makes you think you know them well because you still feel lustful obsession over them.
3: Love Means You Overlook Flaws
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3: With love, you are aware of their flaws and love them anyway. With infatuation, you think they are perfect because you don’t know them that well yet.
4: When You’re In Love, You’re Not Afraid To Be Yourself
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4: When you love someone, you can be your whole authentic self. However, with infatuation, you’re likely still being a less-than-authentic version of yourself to stay attractive to this person.
While not the case for everyone, plenty of people “put on a show” at the beginning of a relationship to attract the best options available.
5: With Love, You Learn From Conflict
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5: When you love someone, conflict is a growing experience that makes you appreciate them more in the long run.
However, with infatuation, conflict is likely to be more volatile because you don’t know each other well enough to navigate a fight in a healthy way. As a result, fights may feel more dramatic and grandiose, even over minor things.
Obsession Is Temporary
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While there are certainly more signs to look for regarding love vs. infatuation, you need to know that obsessive lustful infatuation is a temporary feeling.
It will inevitably fade because that feeling of euphoria is unsustainable. Love requires more than that to work.
Love Is Way More Than A Feeling
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Know that love is more than a feeling. Look at your relationship objectively, and then you can see if you are experiencing love or just a heavy like.
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