She Fell Out Of Love With Her Disabled Boyfriend After He Became Rude, And She Feels Terrible For Wanting To Dump Him
Ever since she was back in high school, this 25-year-old woman has been with her boyfriend, who is her age.
Sadly, he became disabled beneath his waist after suffering from a car accident. She eagerly supported her boyfriend throughout his recovery and hadn’t once considered leaving him over it.
“Disabilities have never been a deal-breaker for me, and I loved him, so while this is going to be a struggle at first, I believed that we’d be able to overcome this,” she explained.
She went to his physical therapy appointments and moved in with his mom and dad to help him with day-to-day activities, as he’s not able to do very much on his own.
She happens to work right by where her boyfriend’s parents live, and her manager permits her to clock out if she has to rush home.
Although she’s done everything in her power to be there for her boyfriend, he’s shut off from her.
“I understand that this is a life-changing injury, and at such a young age, this is absolutely devastating, but he just doesn’t want me anywhere near him,” she said.
“I tried to take him out to concerts, plays, organize picnics, trips – just make him believe that his life didn’t end with his injury and [that] he is capable of living a fulfilling life. But he was just indifferent to it all. Therapy doesn’t seem to help him because he still seems to be completely dissociated from everything.”
“I couldn’t see him like this anymore, and I demanded to tell me everything that’s on his mind, and he just said that he is angry about everything, that he feels like I’m here only out of moral obligation, that he doesn’t feel like a proper boyfriend because he can’t do anything for himself, that he wants to be a “real man…”
elnariz – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Her boyfriend is no longer able to have a physical relationship with her, which deeply hurts him. She tried to tell him it was not a problem for her, but he just didn’t believe her words.
Unfortunately, her boyfriend is only growing more bitter. He will throw things at her and insist she leave his room.
He ignores her to no end, and if he’s not preoccupied with that, he’s busy insulting her. He’s also started throwing food she gives him on the floor like he’s a toddler.
He’s an emotional bully, and she would be lying if she told you she still harbors any love for him.
She’s been proud to be a shoulder for her boyfriend to lean on, especially since she has come across countless stories of people who recover from severe injuries with intense rounds of physical therapy.
She truly thought her boyfriend would be able to regain some or all of his independence if he put in enough effort.
“I believe that miracles exist, and the human body is a fascinating thing; maybe he’d be able to walk again; he just needed a lot of work and faith in himself. But he became so nasty, rude, hurtful that…I [don’t know]; I think I just fell out of love with him,” she added.
“I approached his mum and told her that I feel like I probably don’t love him anymore because he’s been so hurtful towards me for 2+ years now, and I just can’t endure it anymore. I don’t deserve this. His mum immediately got defensive, saying that he’s suffered a great psychological trauma after the accident and it’s normal for him to be so depressed.”
She can sympathize with her boyfriend coming from that position, but that doesn’t give him a free pass to hurt those who are trying their best to be there for him in his time of need.
Her boyfriend’s mom asked her to remain in a relationship with him, citing that he does need to have her support at this time.
But her boyfriend’s behavior is saying the opposite to her: he doesn’t need or want her in the least.
She suspects her boyfriend could be purposely doing this to push her away, but the bottom line is she cannot help him if he isn’t interested in wanting to first help himself.
“I’m tired. I tried for a long time,” she continued. “He shut me out. I want to break up with him, but I’d feel like an absolute trash human being for leaving a person behind when they need me the most.”
“But at the same time, I can’t endure this anymore. I want to leave, but I don’t want to be “that person” if you know what I mean.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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