We all like to think we’d call out bad behavior no matter what, but things get highly complicated when the person doing wrong is the only reason your kid can afford the degree of their dreams.
This 48-year-old man and his 47-year-old wife have a 17-year-old daughter. His 45-year-old sister has always been super close to all of them, and she’s pretty rich because of her career in medicine, coupled with multiple businesses she launched.
When his daughter turned 9, his sister mentioned to him and his wife that she had started saving money for his daughter to go to college.
His sister additionally created college funds for his brother’s kids. He and his wife did tell her they were appreciative of her kind gesture.
Recently, his whole family learned that his sister has been cheating with her married coworker, and his wife and daughter know about it, too.
“The betrayed wife ended up reaching out and telling us exactly what she did and how her husband was planning to leave her for my sister. My sister did not and does not want to get married or have kids, and basically ended up kicking him to the curb,” he explained.
“I want to make it clear that I 100% do not condone infidelity. My wife and daughter have been taken aback by this and made their anger clearly visible.”
On a vacation with his family, his wife and daughter cursed his sister out for being a homewrecker. His brother intervened and kicked them all out. He also banned his wife and daughter from attending future family events.
Following the drama, his wife and daughter cut his sister right out of their lives, but he has not chosen to do that. His sister was deeply insulted by how his wife and daughter treated her.
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She was always such a big part of their family, and he agrees that she was a very involved and supportive person to his wife and daughter.
“….She felt as though they were choosing a stranger over her. After six months, my sister had received no apology or even contact from my wife and daughter. She then called me and told me we needed to discuss something,” he added.
“She stated that my wife and daughter had made their decisions about her, and she would do the same; she would not be disrespected, and was choosing to split my daughter’s college fund evenly amongst my brother’s kids.”
He didn’t fight back against his sister for her choice, despite not agreeing with her. However, he didn’t try to persuade her to keep the college money for his daughter.
When he returned home, he relayed the information to his wife and daughter. His daughter is about to be a senior in high school and has to start applying to college.
His wife and his daughter insisted that his sister was not being fair. They’re furious already, considering his brothers want to stay far away from them following their outburst, and they feel like his family is punishing them for standing up for what’s right.
“My daughter began to cry, saying that she would never be able to afford to go to the college of her dreams. My wife asked what I said to my sister, and I said nothing,” he continued.
“I stated that actions had consequences, and they were free to make their moral choices, and my sister could make her financial choices.”
They called him a jerk and have been keeping their distance, so he’s left wondering if he was rude to tell his daughter that actions have consequences.
Well, he’s right, you reap what you sow. If his daughter wanted to play the moral police, she shouldn’t have been shocked over his sister pulling her college fund.
You can’t yell at people and berate them, then expect that they will still generously give you money. I’m not condoning his sister’s affair because, of course, it was wrong, but his daughter and his wife chose to publicly humiliate her over having a private conversation.
His daughter is not entitled to his sister’s money.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
