This 23-year-old man and his 21-year-old fiancée have been together for the last six years, but his mom has never come around to wanting to include his fiancée in their family.
His mom isn’t outright evil to his fiancée, but she likes to be rude on occasion, or she does go out of her way to exclude his fiancée from things.
He hasn’t spoken to his mom about this over the years, as things seem to resolve on their own without his intervention.
His dad is super neutral when it comes to his fiancée, but he’s like that about everything in life, so he’s hardly surprised.
Tomorrow, his mom is throwing an engagement party for him and his fiancée, and his mom wanted to know what outfits they are planning.
He told his mom about what he’s going to wear and mentioned that his fiancée is going to show up in a white dress since it’s traditional for the bride to wear white to her engagement party.
“I felt like that would’ve been enough of a hint to avoid the disaster of my mom becoming “the bad mother-in-law,” but I saw a picture of her dress, and it is 70% white,” he explained.
“My fiancée is certain this was intentional. Given my mother’s controlling and self-centered attitude, it’s believable, but I don’t want to jump to that conclusion. I’ve told my fiancée that during the party, we need to ignore the fact that she chose to wear white and address it later.”
“My mom thrives on petty confrontation, and I refuse to give her the time of day for it. But this needs to be addressed. My father, in the past, had been a voice of reason and is my personal mentor (I wouldn’t be who I am without him). I want to consult my dad about what he thinks because I’m certain she asked him because I know she asked my grandmother.”
He does agree with his fiancée that it’s not alright for his mom to be wearing a basically white dress, but he’s just unsure of how to go about talking to her.
If he says something to his mom outright, she’s going to be angry and that will only make her hate his fiancée even more than she already does.
If he goes to his dad to help him, he’s worried his dad will do nothing, and then his fiancée will think he failed to handle things as promised.
“I want my fiancée and mother to have a good relationship, but so far, it just seems like they are petty towards each other for no reason,” he added.
“My mother will always play the victim card, but I’m always the one who ends up getting hurt. How do I address the situation in a way where I don’t seem accusatory but also seem defensive of my fiancée? All we want and deserve is respect, and we don’t feel like we are getting it.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
