There are certain lines that just shouldn’t be crossed in life, and dating someone who’s already married is usually pretty high on that list.
That’s why this dad felt his stomach drop when his daughter casually mentioned that the new guy she’s seeing is married and not getting along with his wife at the moment.
Suddenly, he wasn’t just listening to a story about her dating life; he was being pulled into something he wanted no part of, especially under his own roof.
This man has a 23-year-old daughter who still lives at home with him and his wife while she’s working on completing her college degree.
Normally, his daughter is forthcoming and honest, but then she started coming home really late and acting strange. He didn’t question her about what was going on, as he respects that his daughter is no longer a child, and he wasn’t about to be a helicopter parent.
Two evenings ago, his daughter returned home an hour before midnight and let it slip that she’s dating a guy. He didn’t find that problematic, but then she gave him more information.
“Nothing wrong with that, but then she just drops that the guy is actually married and ‘going through a rough patch.’ I kinda froze,” he explained.
“I wasn’t angry, just… disappointed? Confused? I don’t know. I told her I didn’t like the sound of it. She got defensive and said I’m judging her too fast. The real issue started the next morning. She asked if she could bring him over sometime because ‘he feels comfortable around me.'”
“I said no. Straight up. I told her I’m not okay having someone’s affair partner in my house. She got upset and said I’m making her feel ashamed, and that she expected support, not ‘moral policing.’ I didn’t yell or anything, I just said it makes me uncomfortable, and also I don’t wanna deal with some guy’s wife showing up or any drama like that.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
His daughter is hardly speaking to him after he said she can’t bring her married boyfriend over to their house, and his wife doesn’t agree with how he handled things.
His wife feels that he could have been kinder with the words he picked and that he should have been calmer in his approach instead of shutting his daughter down.
He does feel that perhaps he could have done a better job in attempting to figure out his daughter’s feelings on the matter before giving her a no, but he still feels it’s wrong what his daughter is doing, which is why he jumped to creating a boundary.
“I’m not trying to control her life. I just don’t want my house to be part of someone else’s mess, and the whole situation gives me a weird feeling I can’t shake,” he continued.
“But maybe I reacted too quickly and made her feel attacked. I’m kinda stuck between wanting to protect my home’s boundaries and wanting her to feel safe talking to me.”
I’m shocked that his daughter expects him to what, applaud her or something for picking a married man? He has every right to feel uneasy about this because it’s bizarre.
What dad would be fine with his little girl being a guy’s second choice in their love life? Because obviously, this man’s wife is still his first choice if he’s not divorced or planning on it.
Also, there’s no way his daughter’s boyfriend is respectable because otherwise, he would separate from his wife instead of saying he’s going through a tough time in his marriage. This is a mess all the way around!
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
