If your best friend was struggling to parent their teen daughter, and then asked you to become her legal guardian after this kid landed in a psychiatric hospital, what would you say?
This 44-year-old woman has a best friend the same age as her named Beth, and they have been close since back in the third grade. She used to live with Beth and helped raise her daughter, Chloe, since Chloe’s dad wasn’t a part of her life.
After Beth gave birth to Chloe, she began babysitting for her, as she was on disability, didn’t have a job, and had just gone through a divorce.
“Also, I did this completely for free. I didn’t mind, I really love kids (I have no kids of my own), and was happy I could help. I was a preschool teacher before going on disability,” she explained.
“Her husband at the time worked nights, so I would watch her until he would wake up. Fast forward 4 years, Beth and her husband got divorced.”
“She had to move back home with her parents, and I was also staying with my parents since I couldn’t afford to live on my own, so we decided to get an apartment together.”
She continued to babysit Chloe while Beth was at work. She got Chloe from school, helped her with homework, made her dinner, helped her take a bath, and tucked her into bed.
Over Chloe’s school breaks and throughout the summer, she would spend all day with Chloe. She spent 10 long years helping care for Chloe.
Back in 2016, she met Mark, her boyfriend, and they have been dating since then. A year later, her parents moved to another state in order to be closer to her brother, who had just gotten married and welcomed a baby into the world.
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She missed her family so much that she moved to be with them, too, and Mark came along. They got an apartment together, and things have been wonderful.
“Here’s where things got crazy. After I moved, Beth called me constantly asking if I would talk to Chloe on the phone and tell her she needed to mind her mother and do as she’s told,” she added.
“Beth was never good at discipline, and when she was home, Chloe basically did whatever she wanted. Apparently, Chloe was starting to have behavioral problems after I left. Beth would call me complaining that Chloe never listens to her, always talks back, and refuses to do anything.”
“I finally told her she needed to figure something out because it’s going to get worse the older she gets if nothing is done. In July of 2020, I got this frantic message from Beth that Chloe was admitted into a psychiatric hospital. She was also diagnosed with diabetes while there.”
Everything spiraled out of control after Chloe’s hospitalization. She said to Beth she felt sorry for what she had to deal with, and Beth blamed her for moving away!
Chloe kept on behaving deplorably, and Beth went through her own mental breakdown last year. Over the weekend, Beth called her to say she can’t handle Chloe anymore.
Chloe won’t go to school and hasn’t been consistently attending in the last two years. Chloe won’t take the medication she’s been prescribed for her mental health issues or her diabetes.
Beth stated nobody will help Chloe, but since she lives in a state where mental health resources are more available, Beth wants Chloe to live with her.
“Beth told me that Chloe listens to me and will do what I tell her to and trusts me. I told her I needed to talk to Mark first because this affects both of us,” she said.
“After discussing everything with Mark, we decided it wasn’t a good idea. Although he did tell me that if I changed my mind, he would support me in my decision. She wasn’t very happy being told no and said I could be saving her daughter’s life.”
“I really do want to help her, it’s just not possible for multiple reasons I won’t mention here. Beth also does not seem to understand the fact that it’s not as easy as she thinks to become a legal guardian to a child that’s not yours due to the circumstances above. I forgot to mention [that] we are neighboring states.”
It’s wonderful that she previously helped Beth and Chloe so much, but Chloe is not her responsibility. It sounds like Beth doesn’t want to do the hard work of being a parent, but dumping Chloe on her isn’t going to solve anything.
It’s weird to me that Beth is so quick to blame her for Chloe’s bad behavior and for moving away. Regardless, Chloe is a huge burden and could easily put stress on her relationship with Mark, so saying no is the right choice.
Do you think she’s cruel to refuse to become Chloe’s legal guardian?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
