How would you feel if you gave birth to a baby, and then your husband revealed to you that he has a desire to go sleep with other women?
It’s been close to 16 years now that this 31-year-old woman and her 33-year-old husband have been together after meeting as teens back in high school. They got married four years ago, and they welcomed their baby four months ago.
Since they got together so young, they never slept with or dated other people, and that was never a problem, until recently.
They started a business not too long ago, which her husband has been dealing with largely alone, as she’s been caring for their baby by herself.
They live in a tiny city and don’t have any help, so things have been difficult for them. They have experienced their fair share of highs and lows throughout the years, culminating in quite a low for the moment.
Some of this she credits to their personalities, which are starkly different. Her husband is avoidant and has been diagnosed with ADHD.
In contrast, she’s extremely emotional and has anxiety. Her family is completely dysfunctional, so she craves stability. Her husband had a normal family structure, but he’s disconnected emotionally.
“Recently, we had a very honest conversation. Because we’re friends first, we can talk openly. He admitted that he feels like he suppressed parts of himself,” she explained.
“He met me very young, and he sometimes wonders about the life he didn’t live — going out more, partying, attending events, exploring…, being with different women. Not necessarily for emotional relationships, but for the experience and variety.”
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“He owns that this desire exists. He says he isn’t able to live his life up to full potential because these thoughts keep him stuck. I’ve realized that part of me doesn’t want to hold someone who feels unfulfilled. I don’t want to be with a partner who secretly resents the life he chose.”
She suggested to her husband that they should go on a break, and while she never pictured herself saying those words, she feels that her husband should get out there and live the life he missed out on.
Then, they can decide if their marriage is something worth saving or working on. She’s not interested in sleeping with other men or seeing what else is out there for her to enjoy.
She wants to keep living in a loving and secure home. At the same time, she would hate for her husband to feel like he’s trapped in being with her.
There’s also their baby to take into consideration. They’re no longer young kids trying to figure out the world.
“If this is the person we have to spend our lives with, it feels weird to be with someone not content with what he has. We’re not angry at each other. We’re not in crisis. We’re just… questioning,” she added.
“…I’m torn between wanting to protect my heart and wanting to set him free, so we both can know the truth.”
I highly doubt her husband woke up one day recently and came to realize his feelings; this has to have been going on for a while, which means her husband is selfish for having a child with her, only to want to sleep with other women.
The last thing her husband should be doing is dumping the baby on her so he can go be free. I don’t believe a break will do them good; I think it will break them.
What do you think? Does it appear their marriage will survive a break?
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
