It’s bad enough to find out your mom and dad’s marriage ended because of your dad’s infidelity, but it’s a whole lot messier when you’re recruited to play photographer for a relationship that feels like a transaction, not a fairytale.
Last week, this 27-year-old woman’s 56-year-old dad divorced her 58-year-old mom. Now, over the summer, her dad requested a divorce, and she was honestly thrilled for her dad, since his marriage to her mom was completely miserable.
She’s always wanted the best for her dad, and she asked him why he finally pulled the trigger on the divorce after 35 years spent by her mom’s side.
Her dad replied that since losing his brother recently, it made him see that life is too short to be sad and unhappy, which she understood.
But a couple of weeks later, she caught her dad texting someone he had saved in his phone with a heart emoji next to their name as they were having lunch with her mom, so she confronted them when she could.
“[Dad] confirms that he was, in fact, cheating and immediately starts defending himself. He kept saying that ‘he wasn’t happy,’ and it ‘just kinda happened,'” she explained.
“I expressed my concerns to him about dating someone seriously who was willing to be with a married man, maybe trying to spend some time single or in therapy, [and] was told, ‘I’m a lot older now, I know what I’m doing.'”
“Fast forward to last night. I get a call from my dad as I’m driving, asking if I want to come over and ‘meet his fiancée.’ Immediately started having a panic attack, had to pull off the road, plans ruined. Tells me the woman’s name- and I immediately recognize her.”
Two years ago, her dad began a new job and instantly started telling her about how one of his best employees, a 40-year-old woman from Venezuela, was at risk of being deported.
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His employee had a work visa and was trying to give her sons a nicer life. Now, she’s not thrilled that this woman was fine with dating a married man, but her fury isn’t directed at her; it’s pointed right at her dad.
She did end up going to her dad’s place and discovered his fiancée is moving in with him, which she did find completely shocking.
“He proceeds to tell me their ‘love story,’ that includes him pursuing her, divorcing mom so they could be together, and buying her engagement ring this past week right after the divorce because ‘he didn’t want to wait,'” she added.
“Also included that he was ‘so worried she’d have to leave the country and he’d never get a chance to have a relationship with her.'”
She questioned her dad about what his fiancée’s favorite flowers were, since it was getting close to Valentine’s Day, and her dad had no clue.
Her dad kept on telling her that his fiancée is so sweet and sympathetic, and he should not hit the brakes on being with this woman, whom her dad is convinced could be the love of his life.
Her dad pointed out that his fiancée is a wonderful and capable leader whom everyone admires at work. But her dad did kick off a romantic relationship with this woman, who directly reports to him, which she knows is shady.
Her dad made her take photos of him and his fiancée, as he wanted to have evidence of what he deemed their first meeting. Later on, her girlfriend, who is a lawyer, informed her that her dad needed photos for the green card application.
“Before I leave, the fiancée tells me, ‘she wishes she could’ve met me a different way, but she really wants to make my dad happy.’ I told her that ‘she didn’t need to prove anything to me,'” she said.
“I kept it together for the visit, left, drove home, and immediately started crashing out to my girlfriend (26f), who did her best to console me. But I need to know – is there any chance this is a real relationship born out of love? Is my dad having a midlife crisis?”
“Am I justified in thinking that he’s nuking his whole life and that this is the dumbest thing he’s ever done?? Is there any way for me communicate my concerns to him in a way he will actually listen to?”
Oh, and she has since learned from her sister that her dad made her record his proposal, and their mom had no idea their dad actually left her for his employee.
Her dad could actually be in love with his employee, or maybe he’s blinded by something shiny and new showing up in his life, but regardless, I highly doubt this relationship is destined for success.
The interview process to secure a spousal visa is extremely difficult, and I personally know couples who have been through it.
You have to know a lot of important information about your spouse, so her dad needs to hurry up and start getting to know his employee for real if they want to impress the government enough to grant them a visa.
Her dad isn’t being a hero; he’s being a fool, and shame on him for cheating on her mom. He deserves to have a woman use him for a green card for what he did.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
