Sometimes, in the selfish pursuit of their dreams, people end up hurting those closest to them. What would you do if you tried to tell your spouse their new business idea wasn’t a good one, only to have them call you an awful spouse and dump you on the spot?
This 26-year-old woman has spent the last five years with her 28-year-old husband. Ever since they got together, her husband has been pursuing a career as an athlete, which has not worked out for him so far, in that he makes no money from it.
She wasn’t a fan of his career goals from the start, because it made her husband nothing, and the offers he did receive were in different states, so she wasn’t looking for a long-distance relationship.
“He chose to stay close to me, and he was searching within the state, but that never [paid] off. In the meantime, he never had a stable job, [and] always was taking risks on business ventures that didn’t work, draining our resources,” she explained.
“I stayed with him because I love him, and we have a child together. He is a great father and a good partner, but financially struggling. He is blaming me for that, because he stayed here instead of going out for those job opportunities.”
“He chose to stay, BTW, and…I don’t see a point in having a family if my husband is always away. He did have here and there regular jobs, with good income, and those months I could finally save and live freely without stress, but he would always quit [them] if a career opportunity came.”
Every opportunity would fail, though, and her husband would spend the next couple of months unemployed, which put the burden back on her as the provider.
She’s spent a long time being supportive, not only from the financial aspect, but because she has not chosen to walk away from him, even though she clearly has reasons.
She has so much love for her husband, which is why she’s given him nothing but loyalty and stuck by his side through thick and thin.
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“However, I am also constantly stressed out because [the] cost of living is getting higher, and just my paycheck is not enough. Last year, he had a job, he was getting paid monthly, and I could finally breathe a bit, and then he got an opportunity for his [athletic] career, and he decided, against my wish, to quit his job and go take that opportunity,” she added.
She was against it because it meant she would have to juggle her job, their household, and their toddler all alone. Her husband reassured her it would all be worth it, and off he went, convinced he would earn a ton of money.
That opportunity didn’t end up working due to events outside of her husband’s control, so he returned home, unemployed all over again, and furious at everyone and everything.
Her husband is now saying she’s so negative about his career prospects, and that is why nothing has panned out for him. He said she’s unsupportive, where other wives are the opposite, and she’s ruining his chances.
“Mind you, he is saying that while I am the one earning more, paying more for everything, taking care of everything. I never put it on him or make him feel like I’m earning more,” she said.
“I always go above and beyond for us, and never make him feel emasculated. But in his eyes, I’m the bad guy for wanting stability. Well, today we had an argument where he came [up] with another business idea.”
“I told him, for business, to work, you need to have something to fall back on in case it doesnt, and that it would be better if he finds a regular-paying job, saves for some time, and then starts out with that.”
Her husband didn’t want to hear it and melted down on her, saying she’s the worst wife on the planet, and he’s a failure because of her.
He threw in there that he regrets meeting her, and she remained as calm as possible, as this was hardly her first rodeo. She did call her husband out for being so immature and for not understanding her side.
She informed him that all she’s done is struggle since he came into her life, and she’s not wrong to crave a bit of stability for them.
That further infuriated him, and he said he’s dumping her and moving back to his country. She clarified that he was truly breaking up with her, and he said he was.
She said that was fine, she accepted their breakup and went to sleep that night with her heart smashed to pieces.
“I hate that I’m always the bad guy, that he doesnt see 1001 stuff I do for our family (I pull more in earnings, childcare, and cleaning and cooking, basically everything, but I am never complaining because I like doing it and I don’t mind), but the moment I say I don’t agree with an honestly stupid business idea, he goes feral,” she continued.
“This time, honestly, I’m tired, and if he wants to act like this, then maybe I don’t even need him, because if I can’t tell my own husband that I want stability and he can’t understand that, and I get called for being the worst wife, then he can go if he wants to.”
“I’m terrified of being alone, being a single mother, and I really love him, but I also can’t be with somebody with whom I can’t express how I feel about a certain situation I am in.”
Her husband is selfishly still out here chasing his dreams at her expense, and the whole hoping to be a professional athlete thing is bad enough, but adding a truly awful business idea to it, that’s what she’s supposed to fund, too? That’s next-level insanity.
Her husband has exactly zero appreciation for her and what she’s done for him, so it is time for her to allow him to walk away. I think she will come out better on the other side after losing the dead weight that is this man.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
