If you were dating someone who was already on the fence about including you in the rest of their life, how would you feel if they secretly went out on a date with someone else behind your back?
For the last seven months, this 29-year-old woman has been dating her 26-year-old boyfriend, and they only made things exclusive four months ago.
She then requested that her boyfriend put a label on things, but he instantly revealed that he wasn’t convinced that she’s the girl he is going to marry.
He stated that he needed more time to get to know her better, to know one way or another. She called him out for creating an excuse and said he needed to commit or she was dumping him.
Well, two days prior to that chat, her boyfriend went to a networking event. One day later, he went out for coffee with what he said was a man with an “interesting contact.”
Two days after that, she was at her boyfriend’s house cooking dinner with him when he ran to the store to purchase bread. He left his computer out, and she couldn’t help but notice he had unread messages on an app he exclusively uses to talk to her.
“Turns out the guy was a girl, and he was just…flirting. Voice messages, asking for her favorite food, what was her favorite music, mind you, he was with me the whole time he was exchanging these messages,” she explained.
“I am not proud that I checked the messages; I never did it before, and I had never been jealous. When he came back, I didn’t speak a word and just stared at him, waiting to confess, and he did.”
“Insisting that it was just a contact he wanted to get, he wanted to ‘lure’ her in, etc., that I know he doesn’t have any dating apps, etc., and I do know that. I asked him if that was true, he needed to tell her he has a girlfriend, and that I needed to see her answer.”
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Her boyfriend was extremely reluctant to do that and argued that she was going to freak out no matter what. He also claimed that this girl, whom he literally took out on a date behind her back, is a contact for a startup, blah, blah, blah.
Ultimately, her boyfriend sent the message to this girl that he’s in a committed relationship. He felt humiliated and sobbed while saying sorry to her.
They’re set to have a deeper conversation about this today, but she’s furious, let down, and repulsed.
“Is this why he said he wasn’t 100% sure I was the one he wanted to marry? Why did he agree on the label? Why didn’t he tell me anything? What was his plan all along? Can I ever trust this person again?” she wondered.
“…We became boyfriend/girlfriend last Thursday, when he had the freaking coffee date, AND we had been exclusive since January. I know this is my fault for staying and pushing.”
Well, her boyfriend shattered her trust and made it more than obvious he doesn’t want to be with her by saying he’s not sure she’s wife material and then literally going out on a date with another girl.
He showed her who he is and then some. The only thing left for her to do is dump him when they get around to having the conversation later.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
