Financially supporting a parent can be rooted in a deep sense of duty and love, but that bond is easily weaponized by a mom or dad with no shame. How would you feel if you found out that your unemployed parent was secretly using your money to fund their date nights?
This 29-year-old woman has a 56-year-old dad who is unemployed, and he hasn’t had a job for a couple of years. Back in 2019, he was in a horrific accident that made him temporarily disabled.
He had a traumatic brain injury, a broken back, and a broken neck. She says it’s miraculous that he survived his accident. After her dad’s doctors said he could return to work, he instantly suffered another accident, meaning he’s incapable of working now.
Her dad has chronic pain paired with other health problems, and she tries to make him stay on top of it, but he won’t go to the hospital unless he has to.
“I’ve been trying to push for him to get disability, but he doesn’t want to go through all the appointments and see all the specialists (he [would] rather [lie] in pain for a week, then go to the ER for a [temporary] solution than make an appointment and go to a regular doctor),” she explained.
“I’m the only one working. He has 0 savings. I’m barely scraping by. I’m paycheck to paycheck and working my [backside] off only to still be a week late on rent.”
Her dad recently began asking for money on Tuesdays so he could grab tacos with his friends. She agreed, as her dad really needs to get out of the house.
Two months into her dad’s taco Tuesdays, she discovered that he lied to her. He’s not going out with his friends; he’s been taking a girl out on dates!
So, she’s been funding her dad’s dates every week without even knowing about it. It’s not that she’s upset about her dad dating; she’s angry due to how he goes about it.
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“But he has a horrible track record with relationships, and each time he’d leave himself in financial ruin because of his dumb decisions,” she added.
“I also just don’t think it’s fair for me to pay for him and his dates when I’m barely scraping by. I literally do nothing for myself. Every penny goes to bills, pet food, and now his dates.”
She put her foot down and refused to keep paying for her dad’s love life. She also mentioned he really has to get on disability so he will finally have his own money.
She said she could help with the process, but he declined. Her dad has since had to miss out on two dates in a row, as she’s no longer paying for him to keep doing it.
Honestly, the reason she won’t fund taco Tuesdays anymore is due to money. She has a ton of bills to pay, and she can’t afford to pay for her dad to take this girl out for dinner.
By the way, this girl makes double her salary and has a full-time job, so she could easily be out there paying for the dates.
“Now his GF is mad and is giving him the silent treatment because my dad had to cancel since he no longer has my money. He’s upset and constantly throwing teenager-esque fits now,” she continued.
“I’m just exhausted. I have an emotionally challenging job (DV victim counselor), and now I have this [nonsense] going on at home.”
Her dad’s too comfortable being unemployed, and she really has to give him an ultimatum: get on disability if he wants to keep living under the same roof as her.
He has to know she’s barely making ends meet and is constantly late paying their rent, which makes it all so much worse that he’s been taking advantage of her.
Also, he should want to alleviate the burden he’s creating with her having to help subsidize his existence, so you would think that alone would inspire him to get on disability so he can contribute to their household expenses.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
