It has to be unimaginably painful to realize that your entire marriage was just a commercial break in someone else’s love story. How are you supposed to find closure after your spouse leaves you for the person they used to be married to?
It was only two months ago that this woman’s husband stated he wanted a divorce following eight years of marriage. She was completely crushed and couldn’t understand why he no longer wanted to be with her.
Her husband never once told her that he was miserable or asked to go to counseling, which is why she felt so caught off guard with him ending things.
He provided her with a couple of excuses, but it still didn’t make any sense to her. Since he made it clear he’s done with their marriage, she moved out of their house and focused on healing.
She’s kept herself busy with making new friends, enjoying the ones she already has, seeing a therapist to work on her own issues, and going out more. It hasn’t been ideal, but life for her isn’t terrible either.
“Today I had to go over to his place to get my license (I also visit our cats weekly since they are staying with him right now), and I just could tell that he’s been seeing someone and he’s a terrible liar,” she explained.
“I asked him about it, which I told myself not to do, but did anyway. And after trying to hide it and lie, he revealed that he was seeing someone, he had been talking to them before he decided to divorce me, and this person is his ex-wife from before me.”
“He swears he didn’t cheat, but either way, in my eyes, he betrayed me. [He and this ex-wife] had serious co-dependency issues, and she left him one day, just packing all her stuff and leaving him while he was at work, and it destroyed him.”
Her husband is a lot older than she is, and when she met him, he had already been divorced from his ex-wife for over three years. Her husband spent years in therapy trying to overcome the damage his ex did to him, and it wreaked havoc on his mental health.
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She’s horrified that her husband would go right back to the woman who hurt him so badly while acting so cold-hearted towards her. She thinks this means he has no self-esteem.
Her husband admitted to her that his ex knew they were married when she began pursuing him, and she didn’t feel the need to hear more details.
“I may have told him that this was pathetic, that he would crawl back to her, which I honestly don’t regret because I don’t believe anyone else in his life would tell him this,” she continued.
“Either way, I am shocked and mostly just worried that this new information will set back my healing process when I feel like I was making headway. I wouldn’t mind advice on dealing with the betrayal of it all, honestly.”
It has to hurt deeply to know her husband picked his ex over her, but the trash took itself out. Her husband is insecure and awful to do this to her, and she’s better off without him.
She deserves so much more than a man like this, and I hope she finds him out there.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
