If you were sleeping with someone and then found out that they actually have kids, would that be enough for you to no longer want to see them?
This 28-year-old man met a girl the same age as him through some friends they have in common. From the start, the sparks were really flying between them.
They had a ton in common, and one of their female friends questioned him about what he thought of this girl. He confessed that he really did like her, so his friend pushed him to start something with her.
He grew closer to this girl, and they started sleeping together, but they never made anything official between them. It was truly just a situationship for him.
“At this point, she tells me about her kids, which was a shocker as I had no clue, and she just said she assumed I knew, as a lot of people in our friend circle know,” he explained.
“I was slightly thrown back by it, but my feelings for her were so intense at that point that I just looked past it. However, it kept sitting at the back of my head, and it wasn’t what I was looking for, so…I just started putting an end to all of the flirting and the situationship we had going.”
“This hurt her as she had caught strong feelings for me to the point where I later found out that she would have told me she loved me if we had ended up dating.”
They remained friends, not wanting to put their social circle at risk, and it’s not like they hate one another. Throughout the last few months, this girl tried to send him some romantic signs, and then started seeing another guy.
While she was not single, she still flirted with him. He knew that was so rude to the guy she was with, but he didn’t tip him off to anything.
Several weeks ago, he was chatting with one of his male friends who questioned him about why things fell apart with this girl, and he didn’t hold back.
“…I ended up telling them that I just wasn’t in a place where I wanted to be with someone who had kids because, regardless of what anyone might say, eventually at least some of that responsibility would come on me, and I’ve always wanted to stay kid-free at least [until] my mid to late 30s, if not always,” he continued.
“My guy friends understood, but I guess one of their girlfriends happened to overhear this conversation and ended up telling other mutual friends of ours, and now a bunch of them have started saying I shouldn’t have done that, knowing we both had strong feelings for each other, and that I’m a [jerk] for ending things just because of that.”
He’s left wondering if he was wrong to back away from this girl after she admitted that she’s a mom.
Everyone is entitled to their dealbreakers, and if for him that’s a girl having kids, nothing is cruel about that. You can quit seeing someone for literally any reason.
Kids do change a relationship, and he’s right, he would most likely be expected to help out with this girl’s children if he wanted to keep on being with her.
I do find it strange that she didn’t tell him about being a mom up front and kind of hid behind saying she thought he already knew about them.
Also, she comes across as desperate for claiming to have been about ready to tell him she was in love with him before he called it quits.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
