I get that some people are friends with their exes, but do you think it’s appropriate for an ex to be invited to an engagement party, or is that just taboo?
This man says he was expecting his engagement party to be one of the most joyful times of his life. He and his fiancée spent a couple of months planning the party, and all of their family members and friends were in attendance.
“Everything was going well until I noticed a guy I didn’t recognize. At first I assumed he was a coworker or a distant relative. Later, one of her friends casually mentioned, ‘Oh, that’s her ex.’ I honestly thought they were joking,” he explained.
“When I asked my fiancée about it, she quietly admitted that it was true. She said they had dated for a few years before we met, ended on good terms, and occasionally stayed in touch through mutual friends.”
“She also admitted that she invited him herself and deliberately didn’t tell me beforehand because she thought I’d object and she ‘didn’t want unnecessary drama.'”
He refrained from causing a scene in front of everyone because he didn’t want any of the guests to have a bad time. He remained cordial, but he was unable to enjoy himself.
So, he walked out. Later on, when he and his fiancée got back home, he informed her that he wasn’t that upset about her ex being invited; he was mad at her for hiding that from him on purpose.
He said if she thought that putting her ex on the guest list was so harmless, then why did she keep it a secret from him?
“She says she only wanted to avoid an argument before an important event and that nothing inappropriate happened. She thinks I’m focusing on the secrecy instead of the fact that she chose me and is marrying me,” he continued.
“Some of our friends agree with her and say adults can stay friends with exes. Others think inviting an ex to an engagement party without telling your future spouse crosses a line, regardless of whether anything happened.”
“Now we’re both frustrated because we see the situation very differently. [Am I the jerk] for feeling that keeping this from me damaged my trust more than inviting her ex in the first place?”
Choosing to marry someone doesn’t grant a person a free pass to lie, sneak around, and override their partner’s boundaries whenever it’s convenient for them.
His fiancée was massively disrespectful in inviting her ex, then not even telling him about it. She literally made it clear that she cares about her ex more than him, which is an enormous red flag.
I would not get married if I were him.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
