Can you think of anything that kills your self-worth faster than a partner who actively triggers an eating disorder under the guise of an aesthetic preference?
This 18-year-old girl has spent a year and three months dating her 20-year-old boyfriend, and from the start, he told her he only likes skinny girls and that if she can’t be thin, it’s a dealbreaker for him.
He then told her he didn’t like how much she weighed, so she’s been going to the gym four days a week and sticking to a calorie deficit, but that’s not good enough for him, and he hates her stomach.
“Last night, he grabbed my stomach fat and said, ‘No good,’ and I asked what he wanted, he said for me to eat ‘less cals.’ Today, [my boyfriend and I], and his family went to Costco during a road trip,” she explained.
“I got a hot dog and frozen mocha thing. He got pretty [mad] and moody and said that’s too many calories. He said he wouldn’t mind me eating a hot dog if I were skinnier.”
“He encourages me to fast for a really long amount of time, for like 2 days. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells whenever I even eat anything around him.”
She weighs 122 pounds and is 5’6,” and she is quite skinny except for her stomach, which has a higher fat percentage than the rest of her.
Her stomach noticeably bulges out when she’s sitting down. As for her boyfriend, he’s unnaturally thin and will only eat a single meal a day, consisting of either fast food or vegetables.
She does think she’s foolish for staying with her boyfriend as long as she has, but she has put so much energy and time into their relationship.
He’s also her very first relationship, and so that makes it harder to move on from him, too.
“I feel like if I left, I wouldn’t find as strong a connection as I have with him. But I need to collect my thoughts, especially since I’m currently stuck with him and states away from my home,” she concluded.
Her boyfriend is abusive, and she needs to get rid of him because he’s hurting her by giving her an eating disorder while claiming it’s just what he likes.
She deserves so much better than all of this, and I guarantee she will find it, or at the very least, a man who won’t control what she eats. I think she’s just worried that their connection is so strong because this is her first and only experience with a boyfriend.
This so hits home for me because my first serious boyfriend was just like hers, and I was concerned I wouldn’t find someone who loved me as much, but of course, I didn’t realize that love shouldn’t look like this until I left!
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
