What would you do if you found out that one of your parents had a secret spouse, and that they got married in order to help their partner have a comfortable life?
Three years ago, this woman lost her mom, and she was 76 when she passed away. Her mom and dad had an 11-year age gap and met back in 1965 when her mom was 19, and her dad was 30.
She characterizes her mom and dad’s marriage as alright. Her dad cheated on her mom one time when she was approximately seven or eight, and she was fully aware of what was going on. Her mom made the decision to stay married to her dad despite his infidelity.
“Later, when I was 14, my mom asked my dad where he was going one day. Instead of simply replying his intentions, he barked, ‘Out!’ And from then on, she detached emotionally. They continued to be together as…roommates,” she explained.
“She didn’t want to disrupt the family unit. She got a job and was financially independent, but couldn’t afford to leave him. Why pay for rent when she had a roof over her head? And being a dysfunctional family, it was our normal.”
“Then for the last twenty years or so, we (my brother, SIL, [ex] husband, and I) would joke he had a secret second family in another state as he frequently vacationed there. He would take off for a week or two at a time. My mom enjoyed his trips away. She loved sleeping in the bed alone, without his snoring, coughing, and swearing.”
She does believe that her mom and dad had love for one another, somewhere, but it just wasn’t the romantic kind. And since they were at ease with how things ended up working out, she doesn’t blame her mom for not leaving.
Yesterday, her dad’s income tax return couldn’t get filed, and since her dad can’t hear well, she does a lot of phone calls for him. She called up her dad’s accountant, and this man told her that a woman claimed her dad as her husband on her own tax return.
She told her dad about the reason why his return was in limbo, and he wasn’t shocked, which was unusual for him. Normally, her dad freaks out in situations where his personal information is at risk.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Later on, her dad said he had something to share with her, and it instantly became clear why he was so unbothered about the tax return fiasco.
Apparently, her dad did get married to his friend’s sister, who lives in a different state. He did it so that this woman could get his pension and death benefits.
Her dad went on to say that this woman was always so lovely to him, and so he has a desire to make her life easier when he passes away.
“I wasn’t particularly stunned. More like mildly surprised. And amused. I said we needed to update his tax guy so he can file appropriately. His ‘new’ wife filed as single, married. Her tax lady is a former IRS agent and said she had to disclose everything or get in big trouble,” she added.
“I relayed the information to the tax guy, who was also bemused and was able to file my father as single, married instead of single. My father seemed sheepishly relieved he was able to share this info with me. He can finally talk about her freely. And even though they may not have had a physical relationship, there is definitely an emotional attachment.”
“I guess he did have a secret family after all. He had a vasectomy when I was a child, so I don’t have any half-siblings, but she comes from a big family. I have never met them, but I have heard about her brother and his family the most.”
She no longer speaks to her brother, so she let her sister-in-law know about the news her dad shared with her. Her sister-in-law is worried her dad’s new wife might try to come after his assets after he passes away.
Her dad promised her that his trust is still set up in the same way, and she’s going to inherit his house. Apparently, his wife already owns a home in the state where she lives.
In her eyes, the only change is that her dad has a wife on paper and a secret second family due to that.
Well, this is a strange and also sweet twist. I guess her dad isn’t just this cantankerous old guy, and some people have some bizarre redeeming qualities.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
