If you went on three dates with someone and then uncovered that they had cheated in a past relationship, but they weren’t super forthcoming about it, would it change your opinion of them or make you want to stop pursuing a romantic connection?
This 32-year-old woman had two incredible dates in a row with a 36-year-old man. Their first and second dates included hiking and a dinner date, as well as a walk around the city.
He’s very handsome and paid her a lot of attention, which really helped her have such a wonderful time with him. Interestingly enough, she had a bad feeling when both of those dates came to an end that something was off with this guy.
After returning home, she confided in her best friend that she thought he might be putting on some kind of an act. She just knew deep down that he was not being genuine, and that was a red flag to her.
“Finally, on date 3, we had some wine, and I asked him if he had ever cheated on anyone. He said it was a ‘grey area’ of a situation, and when I asked to elaborate, he half…explained a situation with his ex that seemed messy,” she said.
“It then ended in him saying his ex had a ‘mental breakdown.’ I tried asking him if he did anything to contribute to the breakdown of the relationship, and he said no, that he was a great communicator. This put my alarm bells off even more.”
Not to stereotype, but this guy is good looking, great job, and has never been married, engaged, or lived with a woman, and has only seriously dated one woman who [is supposed to have] ‘ruined his life’ 5 years ago. Would you guys run? I’m thinking of calling it.”
Personally, I wouldn’t be interested in seeing someone who was capable of cheating in their past. Yes, some people are capable of growth following infidelity, but that’s rather rare.
Overall, cheating is a valid dealbreaker for anyone, and since this guy answered her question in such an evasive way, I don’t think he’s that trustworthy, and I worry about why he wasn’t straightforward with her.
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That would have been the perfect opportunity for him to prove his growth to her while confessing the truth. He could have said that yes, he cheated, but he understands the error of his ways now.
I do fear that the manner in which he responded means she most likely would be signing up for him to cheat on her on a long enough timeline, and that’s not fun to have to live with worrying about that.
She needs to save herself the stress and move on.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
