Getting married should be one of the highlights of your life, and the first month is supposed to be full of bliss. But for her, officially being a wife has already turned into a nightmare, and she’s only four weeks in.
This 26-year-old woman has spent close to four years with her 28-year-old husband, and they tied the knot only a month ago. Already, married life is falling apart for her, and she’s appalled over something her husband recently did.
Now, the first year of dating her husband was pretty horrible. They actually broke up and then got together. After that, their relationship was so wonderful that they made the decision to get married.
“We rarely fought, and everything is really great. Today, I came home from work, and we had this beautiful conversation about when we are going to start trying for a child, etc.,” she explained.
“After that, we lay on the couch and watched a movie. During the movie, he was on his phone, so I jokingly asked him why he was on the phone (I saw that he was texting his male best friend, they were arranging to hang out later).”
Her husband got irritated and said she was always on her phone, which caused them to argue a bit. Then, he turned his back to her.
He ended up moving closer to her after some time had passed. She curled up on his chest and wanted to give him a kiss, but her husband demanded to know why she was choosing to kiss him instead of watching their movie.
She teasingly told her husband to shut up, so he slapped her across the cheek and said she should never tell him that. He was furious and not acting playful with her.
“I was instantly in shock, stood up, and started crying. He then said, ‘Why are you crying?’ and I said because you hit me and he said, ‘Yeah, come on, stop lying and overreacting.’ I just walked out of the house in absolute anger, shock, and disgust,” she added.
“Now, after an hour back at the house, he didn’t come after me, didn’t say anything, didn’t text. He was in the bedroom reading (didn’t go out) and now fell asleep. What should I do? I couldn’t see this coming. He was never violent before.”
“He does have issues acknowledging and accepting his mistake, but the second part, where he instantly didn’t react apologetically or scared for what he has done, hurts more than the fact that he slapped me.”
As she said, they just got married, and in a few days, they are going on a vacation with their parents. She is so bewildered that her husband slapped her. She can’t rationalize her husband’s reaction to such a tiny disagreement.
Yeah, I can’t justify his behavior either. I don’t care how mad you are; there is no excuse for slapping your spouse. Her husband made a conscious decision to use physical violence to punish her, assert control, and silence her.
She needs to exit this marriage immediately, because if he feels comfortable slapping her a month into their marriage, he will only escalate and get more violent.
She needs to cancel the family vacation immediately and not worry about what their families will think. She also should not try to protect his reputation, because her safety is the only thing that matters right now.
While he is asleep or out of the house, she has to pack her stuff and go stay with her parents. Sitting down with her husband to give him a chance to explain himself or have a closure talk is not a good idea.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
