His Brother Tried To Criticize How He Parents His Foster Son, So He Called His Brother A Deadbeat Dad
This thirty-eight-year-old man is currently single but has a foster son who is fourteen years old. He has been fostering his son for nearly two years now and hopes to adopt him over the next few months.
Unfortunately, though, his foster son had a very tumultuous childhood. So, his foster son has many behavioral and mental health issues– including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), abandonment issues, and anger management issues– that they are currently working on with the help of therapists.
One of his foster son’s main issues, though, ties back to anger management. Apparently, whenever his foster son becomes irritated or agitated by something, he will become explosive and lash out at those around him.
“My foster son is working on it, and it’s much better. But, it still happens,” he noted.
So, whenever his foster son lashes out, he implements a system that has been working in his household.
First, he tells his foster son to leave the room for a few minutes in order to calm down and collect himself. Then, once his foster son comes back, they both sit down and talk through what happened.
“And I tell him what he did wrong or scold him or whatever needs to be done. It’s what works best,” he explained.
Recently, though, while he and his foster son were eating dinner at his parent’s house, his brother tried to give him some parenting advice, and he kind of lost it.
For context, his brother has had three children but is not involved in any of their lives. In fact, his brother does not even pay child support until his license gets suspended since that’s when the payments become completely unavoidable. Well, unless his brother wants to forfeit his license, of course.
halayalex – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Anyway, this past Friday, his brother also attended the family dinner with his parents and foster son.
And during the dinner, his father apparently lectured his son on something school-related that wound up making his foster son pretty angry.
So, his foster son ended up talking back to his father– which he admits was undoubtedly rude. But, his foster son did get up from the dinner table after that and said he needed to get some space– which is exactly what they had been working on at home.
This prompted him to tell his foster son that that was totally okay and that his foster son could take all the time he needed.
After his foster son finally left the room, though, his brother decided to throw in his two cents on the situation.
Apparently, his brother claimed that he needed to be more strict “with the boy” and discipline him. That way, his foster son would not talk back or yell at his father.
He knew that his brother had no clue what his foster son had been through, though, so he told his brother that how he raised his kid was none of his brother’s business.
His brother did not really get the hint, though, and kept insisting that he was doing a bad job. Then, he even got accused of raising “a little monster.” So after a while, he just could not take it anymore and decided to put his brother in his place.
“I got upset and told my brother that he was a deadbeat who didn’t even want to try raising his own kids. So, he should stay out of how I raise mine,” he recalled.
And to be honest, his father was completely on his side and believed that his brother was way out of line for trying to give parenting advice after being an absentee father for so long.
On the other hand, though, the comment really upset his mother– who is now urging him to apologize to his brother.
So, he has now been left wondering if telling his brother off for trying to criticize his parenting efforts was really the wrong thing to do or not.
Why do you think his brother felt entitled to give him parenting advice in the first place? Do you believe he had a right to tell his brother off and call him a “deadbeat” or not? If you had been in his shoes, what would you have done?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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