Dear Men: No, These Common Behaviors Do Not Mean Women Are Flirting With You

Drobot Dean - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Drobot Dean - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Have you ever been mindlessly going about your day– working at the office or shopping at a local store– and had your behavior misinterpreted as flirting? Maybe it’s because of our pandemic isolation or the fact that so many romantic advances are made online nowadays.

Whatever the reason, though, there are so many things women do while they simply exist that are commonly misinterpreted as a come-on.

But today, I am here to break some tough news: oftentimes, the most frequently misconstrued actions are actually not flirting attempts.

Instead, women online admitted that they are just being themselves. Plus, they revealed the top normal behaviors they do that lead men to think they are totally flirting when they are definitely not.

Smiling

Yes, that’s right– the natural human expression to showcase happiness, excitement, or even nervousness is, more times than not, interpreted as a total flirty move.

If you catch a woman smiling while walking down the street, scanning the aisles at CVS, or even during a conversation, though, she is likely not even thinking about you.

“If you smile at them and be polite, you’re flirting. If you don’t smile and keep a straight face, you’re ‘in a mood’ or ‘on your period.'” –Ilooklikeadeer

“[Smiling] is being human. Social constructs dictate we behave as such as humans, so we do. Doesn’t mean I want to give you my number.'” –729Baoht

Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Doing Their Job

If you have ever worked in sales, then you know that one of your main responsibilities is to interact with people. And about fifty percent of the time, those “people” happen to be men.

The next time you walk into a store and a female representative approaches you, though, keep that in mind. It is literally her job to talk to you, not fluff your ego while displaying samples.

“I am literally paid to make my store inviting and entice you to choose my business over another. And I don’t mind having a chat.”

\”But that doesn’t mean I am into you at all. I do genuinely care about what I’m talking to you about because I am generally into meeting new people, but my interest isn’t solely directed at you. Almost all my customers– male, female, young, old– get the same treatment.” –2k_0h_VI

Eye Contact

Looking into someone’s eyes when you speak to them is not a come-on; it’s common courtesy. If you went into a job interview, would you think the recruiter was flirting with you because they looked at you head-on? No!

Eye contact is a sign of engagement and respect. For some reason, though, women’s participation in the social cue is often seriously confused.

“I was taught to look someone straight in the eyes because it shows that you are confident.” –Distractioncitron

“Sometimes, I am just focused on the conversation.” –Cstarling4

Appearing Put-Together

Do you really think that women go through the effort of picking out a nice outfit, completing their skincare, doing their makeup, and blowing out their hair for the slim possibility that a guy will love their eyeliner or fawn over their curls?

The honest answer is no. Most women just complete these daily routines because they are relaxing, add discipline, and provide a personal sense of worth. Still, too many guys think “looking good” is a definite attempt to get potential suiters lining up.

“Looking pretty (dressing nice, doing my makeup, etc.) and being nice. I dress up for myself, not you. I am nice because that’s what decent human beings do.” –Middlescore

Laughing And Cracking Jokes

Aren’t women allowed to have a sense of humor and laugh sometimes, too? Well, too often, the enjoyment is killed immediately afterward once women realize that their fun personality trait is being misinterpreted as some quirky come-on.

“An employee of mine and I would always light-heartedly roast each other and make funny (professional) jokes. Next thing you know, he started a rumor around the store that I hit on him. I’ve been with my spouse for ten years.” –Number5withcheese

“LAUGHING. Just laughing. It is very easy to make me laugh, so this becomes an issue for me quite often. I’m very blunt and open about whether or not I have feelings for someone, but clearly, I’m lying if I laugh at their jokes. If I like everyone that makes me laugh, I must be into all of my friends, my family, my pets, other cute animals, and funny posts on the internet, too.” –Queen_of_the_moths

Holding Open A Door

Okay, this final one might sound oddly specific. Okay, this final one might sound oddly specific. But it perhaps ties back to traditional ideas of chivalry and is seriously worth discussing.

Back in the day, men were always supposed to hold open doors for women. Nowadays, though, women are strong and independent and don’t really need that kind of treatment. Moreover, women are also willing to hold open the door for other people. Shocking, I know.

But, if a woman holds open a door for a guy, it is– for whatever reason– viewed as some really forward way to flirt. Rest assured, though; we are just being polite.

“I have a guy at my school who I used to open the door for all the time because he always said that his wrists hurt. Then, he tried to kiss me, and I freaked out. He said I was ‘coming onto him.'” –Toomanycults

To read the original Reddit thread, visit the link here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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