If you found out only months after your wedding that your spouse had a child they never knew about before, what would you do?
This 27-year-old man spent six years with his 27-year-old wife. Just a couple of months after their wedding, a former fling of his from back in college contacted him to say he’s the father of her daughter, who is now 7.
He did think this girl was lying to him, as she never once had mentioned being pregnant, and clearly kept it all from him. His wife insisted that he ask for a DNA test before deciding what to do, and he thought that was a good idea.
“DNA proved that I was this little girl’s father, and my ex told me she was sorry for springing it on me,” he explained.
“The reason she told me after all those years is [that] she is ill and her family all told her that her daughter would need to know her other parent once she becomes too sick to care for her, and that it wouldn’t be fair for me to take her while we’re still total strangers.”
He lives in a totally different state from his ex, so he cannot travel there daily to see his daughter, but he’s flown there on two separate occasions, and he speaks to his daughter on the phone frequently.
Of course, his wife was blindsided to learn about his kid (as was he), but then she revealed that she has no interest in being a stepmom.
She has also said she’s not interested in staying with him, which has been a devastating blow. He loves his wife with all of his heart, and losing her has been the worst moment of his life.
They did have a couple of conversations prior to her leaving, but she mentioned wanting to start her own family. Since his wife had a stepfamily growing up, she was not down to be a stepparent or give her kids one.
“She told me there was nothing to save because she would not want to be in my daughter’s life, and that I clearly need to be a father,” he continued.
“I feel like [garbage], honestly. This is all still recent. But I am nursing a very broken heart because I love my wife and want to be married to her.”
“I’m also mourning the plans we had made, the family we were about to start trying to have, and to top it all off, I’m a father to a child I did not know about for years. I’m not sure how to get through these next few months.”
This is just so sad to me because he and his wife didn’t do anything wrong; they’re just no longer compatible, considering there is now a child in the equation, and that wasn’t a part of the picture before.
He’s a good man for stepping up for his daughter, and his wife deserves to be applauded for being honest, no matter how much it hurts here.
They both deserve to have what they want in life, and it’s just unfortunate that means their marriage has to come to an end. I hope they find happiness.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
