She Told Her Mother, Who Has A Lot Of Disabilities, That She Is Better Off Living With Her Sister Than Moving Back In With Her For Various Reasons, But Now Her Mom Feels Like She Just Doesn’t Want Her Around

Drobot Dean - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Drobot Dean - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This twenty-six-year-old woman has, unfortunately, been struggling with her mother– who is fifty-six and has a lot of disabilities.

Apparently, she used to be her mother’s caregiver until she just could not handle it anymore. It’s not that her mother needed more care or anything. She just simply could not keep up with her mother’s demands and lack of patience.

“My mother is very demanding, and if something is not done when she wants it or how she wants it, she gets really mad fast,” she revealed.

Another large issue was her mother’s lack of boundary awareness. For instance, whenever she or her husband would ask that her mother not do something with their children, her mother would insist on doing it anyway– claiming that she could do whatever she wanted since she was their grandma.

She also recalled how her mother would constantly refer to her kids as “her babies.” For instance, her mom would ask, “How’s my baby doing?” or say, “Don’t be mean to my baby.” And she was forced to correct her mom constantly.

“I don’t agree with how my mom raised me and my siblings. So, I have no desire to have her help with mine,” she admitted.

More recently, though, there has been a new issue in their relationship– and it has to do with her mom’s place of residence.

Since her mom requires a lot of health attention, her mom recently moved out of her home and moved to another state in order to live with her sister.

And even though this transition happened just over a month ago, her mom already wants to come back and live with her again.

Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

However, she claims that her sister’s house is the best place for her mother right now. First of all, her mom requires certain medications for pain that are difficult to get prescribed in her area.

In her sister’s state, though, there are doctors who will provide those medications to patients who really need them.

So, her mom went to a new doctor to determine if she would qualify, and her mother did. In turn, she asked her mom why she would want to come back and live with her when everything her mother needs is in her sister’s home state.

Well, her mother ultimately admitted to just missing her and her children. Honestly, though, she tried to give her mom a dose of reality.

First, she told her mom that coming back would only create more issues. For instance, her mom would be unable to get the medication she needed, and she refused to help her mom get them from the streets.

Her mother just did not understand her perspective, though, and accused her of being a jerk. Her mom also claimed it felt as though she just did not want her mother around.

She made it clear, though, that it’s not that she doesn’t want her mother around. She just knows how much care her mother requires and believes that the best place for her mom to receive that care is at her sister’s house.

She also noted that her mother does have limited time since she is suffering from kidney failure and lung issues and plans to “end it at home.”

And even though she claimed to understand that, she also pointed out how there is a lot of time before her mother gets to that point.

Plus, when that time comes, her mother would, of course, be brought home.

“But I just want her to not be in pain for as long as possible,” she vented.

Still, with her mother upset with her, she has been feeling pretty guilty and is wondering if telling her mother not to come live with her was the best thing to do or not.

Does it sound like she doesn’t want her mom to live with her because of medical requirements, or might it really be because of her mom’s demanding behavior and boundary disrespect? Regardless, does she have a right not to want her mother to live with her? If you were in her shoes, how would you navigate this tough situation? 

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek
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