When a partner handles their impending parenthood by completely ghosting you, how do you navigate the wreckage of being abandoned with a baby when you never saw it coming?
This woman was pregnant and in her second trimester when her boyfriend up and left her out of the blue. He didn’t say that he was unhappy. He literally just left her while she was carrying his baby.
The only difference with him was that he was acting aloof, and then one day, he texted her stating they should no longer speak to one another until their baby was born. He promptly blocked her after that, and she hasn’t seen or heard from him since.
Her boyfriend has two other children with his ex-girlfriend, who are preteen girls. They broke up four years ago, and her boyfriend was an incredible dad to his kids, so that’s why it’s even more difficult to understand how he could ditch her child.
“I spent nearly my whole pregnancy alone and trying to pick up the pieces of this. I was completely blindsided and left like nothing,” she explained.
“Eventually, I find out he had gotten back together with his ex, and they even went as far as moving states away. She knew I was pregnant, and last I knew, she even had a BF. Now looking back, there was clearly something going on between them.”
“I reached out to her, and she blocked me immediately. I now have a 5-month-old baby girl [who has] never met her dad. I am constantly torn on [whether] it’s even worth filing anything.”
She managed to track down where he currently lives, but she’s not about to force this man to be a parent when he doesn’t care. Her sister texted him a photo after the baby was born, but he left her on read.
Her now ex-boyfriend is a VP in the oil and gas industry and makes a ton of money. She does think her daughter is entitled to child support, and she should not let him walk free.
However, she’s trying to decide if the legal battle of taking her ex to court would even be worth the headache, as he most likely will put up a fight.
“He’s seemingly a decent person on paper. I truly never would’ve expected him to do something like this, and the way he left without literally any closure has eaten me alive ever since; it’s not getting better,” she continued.
“I also can’t help but wonder how a woman can be with someone who had a baby on the way and enable that behavior. My mental health is at an all-time low, and I thought as time goes by, I’d move past this, but I feel like I’m completely stuck on it.”
“Betrayal trauma sucks. Especially when you’re in survival mode with an infant and trying to be present with your new baby.”
She’s too humiliated to tell anyone in her life about what happened with her ex.
She has nothing to be ashamed of. The humiliation belongs entirely to her ex, who lacked the emotional maturity to handle his responsibilities, and to his ex-girlfriend, who was desperate enough to take back a man who abandoned a baby.
Now that we have that out of the way, she absolutely should take her ex to court and hold him accountable for child support, as that will help her and her daughter out.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
