How would you feel if you were dating someone whose coworker asked their mom permission to marry them, despite knowing they’re taken?
This 24-year-old man has a 23-year-old girlfriend, and they have been dating for the last three months, but they’ve been friends for two years.
His girlfriend means the world to him. Two months ago, his girlfriend began an internship and made friends with a 23-year-old guy in their office.
“From what she’s told me, he’s genuinely a nice, humble guy, friendly with everyone regardless of gender, easy to talk to. They hang out, talk a lot, grab food after work, normal friend stuff. He knows about me,” he explained.
“She talks about me in front of him all the time, including the ‘lovey-dovey’ stuff on calls, so there’s no ambiguity that she’s taken.
Last week, without ever saying anything to her directly, this guy went to her mother and told her he was very sure he wanted to marry my girlfriend, and basically asked for her hand.”
“He didn’t confess to her. He skipped her entirely and went straight to her mom! I found out through my girlfriend, who was clearly thrown off by the whole thing. She says nothing has happened between them, and she has no romantic feelings for him.”
He’s inclined to believe his girlfriend, as he knows she could have kept this all a secret. Also, she did seem truly uneasy that her work friend had done such a thing.
He’s really not sure what to do with this information, and he feels deeply unsettled that a man who knew his girlfriend was in a relationship went around him and his girlfriend to talk to her mom.
To him, that’s not innocent or nice. He is afraid of overreacting and making his girlfriend feel like he does not trust her at all.
“Questions I’m sitting with: Is this as much of a red flag as it feels like, or am I being insecure? Should this change how she interacts with him at work going forward?” he wondered.
I really want to know how this guy got his girlfriend’s mom’s phone number. And what did his girlfriend’s mom say? Anyway, what this guy did is totally creepy and strange, without having more answers to those questions.
I’m not really sure what can be done, except for having his girlfriend go to HR to alert them to how dangerous and unhinged that coworker is. His girlfriend also has to stop being friends with this guy at work and put some serious space between them.
All he can really do is be supportive of his girlfriend, as it’s not like he can have a sit-down meeting with HR, too.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
