These 5 Self-Love Exercises Aren’t Easy, But They Are Key For Finding And Falling In Love With Yourself Again
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
With self-care and self-improvement content flooding our social media feeds, it’s safe to say that we would all like to work on ourselves. But, the only obstacle standing in most people’s way is actually starting the internal work.
Do you push off the introspection? Are you taking proactive steps to better yourself and live a happier life? Or have you retired to watching other people thrive while accepting that you can never attain the same mental peace and stability?
The latter may seem easier, but it is a whole lot more depressing. Quite frankly, it is also downright false.
We all have the power to change our mental health and circumstances– much more power than we tend to give ourselves credit for. Yes, it will take some unpacking and reflection– a journey that is seldom filled with sunshine and rainbows.
But investing time to better yourself is undoubtedly worth it. After all, only you have to live your life every single day.
And to get started, here are five challenging yet critical self-love exercises to get you started on improving yourself.
1. Take Stock Of What No Longer Serves You
It’s time for spring cleaning– and no, I don’t mean your house.
Ekaterina Voitenkova – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Instead, grab a journal, and on one page, write down your values, interests, or goals. These could be solely mental health-related– such as feeling comfortable in your own skin, learning how to loosen the reigns, or feeling gratitude for your day-to-day.
You can also write about more tangible goals that are career, family, or hobby-oriented. Whatever floats your boat.
Then, on an adjacent page, think about what people or habits are hindering your growth; your achievement of these goals. Do you have a toxic situationship? Are some friendships making you feel totally drained? Or do you have a self-destructive habit or addiction?
Whatever it may be, write it down. Afterward, make a conscious effort every day to allocate your mental energy elsewhere.
2. Practice Self-Awareness
Taking note of how we interact with others is a great way to gauge our own feelings about ourselves and our current life circumstances.
When you catch up with friends, are you more often bubbly, optimistic, and supportive of their endeavors? Or, after hearing about your friend’s new job or partner, are you defensive, judgemental, or jealous?
By practicing self-awareness, you can learn more about your current mental health state– and uncover subconscious triggers you may not have even noticed before. Plus, once you become aware of your pitfalls, you can start to shift your mindset in a new direction.
Yes, it is natural to feel jealous or even bitter sometimes. But you can start working to undo these automatic responses by focusing on the highlights in your own life.
Share your own triumphs, what you are proud of, and what you are looking forward to with your loved ones.
It will not only help your relationships grow deeper, but you will start to gain a more well-rounded view of yourself by not focusing on everything you don’t have.
3. Be An Active Listener
Along with being aware of your own tendencies, you should also pay attention to how people in your inner circle talk about everything– from mutual friends to different morals and values.
Are the people closest to you chronic complainers or “Debbie downers?” Do they have others’ best interests at heart? Do they uplift and support you, or talk down to you and mock you? Finally, do they have sound values and morals that are not just dependent on superficial grounds?
If you do this analysis and realize that you and a friend are not exactly aligned, it is best to let them go. Of course, this can be extremely difficult– although when it comes to preserving your own mental health, you cannot feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs.
4. Search For The Good In Everyone
Some of the hardest emotions to move past are anger, grief, and resentment. If we leave these negative emotions untended, though, they will only drag us down and weigh on our minds until we confront them.
Now, one challenging but necessary way to let go is to take a look at your past relationships and identify the positive qualities in those who hurt you. This can be daunting and may even seem like a waste of time.
But we all know the saying: “You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”
That is not to say you were not hurt by someone. A friend or past partner may have treated you really badly or done something that you never deserved. However, speaking or even thinking about them as terrible people is no way to live life. Instead, you must let go and realize that they are likely not inherently bad.
On the flip side, you can also take note of what you learned from these past relationships. Maybe a past partner taught you what you did not want in a future romance. Or, perhaps a friend taught you the tough lesson of how important boundaries are.
Whatever it may be, find the positive in the people and situations you have navigated in the past. Then, try to feel gratitude for the learning experience and use these lessons to inform your future life.
5. Stop Telling Yourself What You “Should” Do
Look, we are constantly surrounded by societal expectations. On social media, the idea that we need to be conventionally attractive is shoved down our throats. In our families, we may also be told what we “should” pursue, how much money we “should” save, that we “should” buy a home instead of renting and that we “should” be looking for a partner and starting a family.
At the end of the day, though, the only thing you really should be prioritizing is what you want. No one else.
So, if you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, unmotivated, and just bored of the same-old same-old, that might be because you are pursuing someone else’s idea of how you should live your life.
As soon as you realize that, though, and start pursuing your own true interests and dreams, you will feel a renewed sense of purpose and drive; you will feel alive again and begin to fall back in love with yourself.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Advice