Meeting men in the wild seems all well and good until you turn one down and they take it out on you. Maybe it’s better to stick to the apps after all?
This 24-year-old woman moved to a brand-new city for her job not too long ago. She went through a horrible breakup last year, and this seemed like a fresh start for her.
She works in event planning, and while her schedule is unpredictably helter-skelter, the energy is what keeps her hooked. And at the end of her lengthy shifts, she heads to the gym.
She doesn’t go to make friends, she keeps her headphones in, and she locks in on lifting while refocusing her thoughts.
A couple of weeks ago, a handsome man in his early 30s who basically lives at the gym started chitchatting with her. Initially, he complimented her on her form and moved into discussing playlists with her.
She was always nice, but kept her answers curt because, as she said, she’s not there to socialize. From there, this guy began waiting around for her to finish up her workouts.
He asked for her number, offered to spot her with every lifting session, and got irritated with her when she mentioned that she likes working out alone.
“Last Tuesday, he cornered me near the lockers and went full entitled: ‘Look, girls like you are always playing hard to get, but I know you come here for attention. I make good money, I can take care of you, why are you acting like you’re too good for me?’ When I firmly told him I wasn’t interested and to please leave me alone, he lost it,” she explained.
“Started telling other regulars that I’m ‘stuck up’ and ‘leading guys on.’ Yesterday I overheard him telling the front desk staff some twisted version of the story, trying to get them to ‘watch me’ because I’m apparently ‘causing problems.'”
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“The wildest part? I found out through a mutual acquaintance that he’s been posting vague but recognizable stuff about me on his private stories. I’ve been going to the gym less out of anxiety, and it’s honestly messing with my mental health.”
Her gym crush, as she calls him, is hardly the first entitled individual she’s ever encountered, but this man is off the charts with his entitlement, considering he thought she owed him for wanting to be with her.
She cannot afford to get a different gym membership, so she’s left wondering how to deal with this man without having to relocate her workouts.
I’m this level of petty: I would report him to the front desk and say he’s harassing her, because he is. He’s completely pathetic, and she shouldn’t allow him to get away with his behavior or push her out of what used to be a safe space for her to be in.
He’s not able to handle rejection, which is why his arrogance leaked out. She didn’t do anything wrong, and it infuriates me that he’s distorting the truth with other gymgoers and the front desk staff.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
