If you’re engaged to someone, is there any excuse for being on a dating website, or does that mean you intend to cheat on your partner?
This 40-year-old woman has been with her 35-year-old fiancé for a couple of years, and this week, they were set to move in together. And a week ago, she and her fiancé began putting plans in place for their wedding, which is happening next year.
As all of this has been going on, she lost her mom several weeks back. Her dad passed away a while ago, and now she’s a siblingless orphan.
“My mother had been in poor health for a long time, and because of that, I spent a great deal of time with her helping and supporting her,” she explained.
“We spoke almost every day, and I saw her frequently. Losing her has left a huge gap in my life, and I am still trying to adjust to that loss.”
Following her mom’s death, she’s been dealing with her estate, cleaning her apartment out, and managing her grief over such a monumental loss. This is the hardest moment of her entire life.
Now, days ago, her fiancé fell asleep and left his phone’s lockscreen open. So she actually saw that he made a profile on a dating app!
Her fiancé wrote on his profile that he was in a relationship, unhappy with how his life was going, and trying to find some distractions through meeting new women.
“The overall impression I got was that he was looking for more than just casual conversation. When I confronted him, he initially refused to show me the profile and told me it was not important,” she said.
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“Later, after I had already seen it, he changed parts of the profile. He now says that he only wanted conversations and nothing more. He also says that ChatGPT wrote the profile text and that creating the profile was a stupid mistake.”
“The problem is that I no longer know what to believe. The profile I saw and the explanation I was given do not seem to match. What makes this especially difficult is the timing. My mother died only a few weeks ago.”
She’s actively grieving, going through her mom’s personal things, and doing her best to keep it together. She can’t understand why her fiancé would make a profile on a dating website knowing she’s suffering.
She does still have her mom’s apartment, and before she came across her fiancé’s dating profile, she was completely invested in living with him.
But here she is, wondering if she should follow through with the move when he has shattered the trust she had in him.
“There is also some history. Earlier this year, he told me that he wasn’t sure whether he still loved me. We worked through that and continued planning our future together, but this discovery has brought all those doubts back,” she continued.
“What hurts the most is that if I had not accidentally seen his phone, I am convinced he would never have told me about any of this.”
“I am trying to figure out whether trust can realistically be rebuilt after something like this and whether it makes sense to continue with a major life decision like moving in together while I am feeling this uncertain.”
She’s curious if she should take a step back and think about things, or if she should just move in with him as planned.
No, she should absolutely not move in with her fiancé. In fact, she should dump him for this, because no engaged man is on a dating website unless he plans on being unfaithful.
She’s lucky she still has her mom’s apartment. She should move in there and work on creating a new life for herself without her fiancé in it, because he doesn’t deserve her.
I feel like this was a sign from her mom, finding that profile in the first place. Imagine if she found this all out after she got married? That would be ten times worse.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
