Here Are 6 Tell-Tale Signs That You’re Stuck In A Toxic Relationship
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
More often than not, relationships don’t just start off as insanely toxic. Instead, they may kick off quite wholesomely before more and more toxic tendencies slowly invade.
That’s why it can be really difficult to know when you are personally stuck in a toxic relationship. You might just constantly think back to the time before things went sideways and use your foundational love for each other as justification for your troubled relationship in the present.
Unfortunately, though, love alone is not enough to save a pairing. And the sooner you realize that the sooner you can save yourself a ton of headaches and heartbreak.
So, here are six tell-tale signs that you may be in a toxic relationship (and need to escape ASAP).
There’s No Trust When You’re Apart
“My 57-year-old colleague constantly has to send videos and pictures of him working to his wife.”
“I found out the other week that my buddy has to send his girlfriend detailed notes with timestamps of legitimately everything he does while hanging out with the guys.”
konradbak – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“9:14 p.m. went down to the kitchen for a glass of water. 9:15 p.m., stopped to pet the cats before heading upstairs. 9:18 p.m., made it back upstairs and sat on the right side of the couch.”
It’s One Person’s Way Or The Highway
“One partner always gets their way. For me, it was ‘easier’ to bend over backward than to deal with the whining and complaining if I stood my ground.”
“Easier is in quotes because it was only easier in the shorter. In the long-term, it made life hell.”
“Yes, this is exactly what happened when I experienced a toxic relationship! It’s not that I was okay with what she did; it’s that it was easier to just let her have her way and move on.”
“Sadly, in these sorts of relationships, the person who cares the least has the most power. You could bend over backward trying to please the other person, and it might keep them around in the short term, but it doesn’t change the fact they don’t really respect you.”
“You know in your gut that if you ever actually stood your ground on any issue instead of giving in to them, things would end there and then.”
Effective Communication Doesn’t Exist
“When they say we need to work on our communication, but every time you bring anything up, they get mad and start an argument.”
“THIS! How are we gonna work on communication if I don’t even feel comfortable bringing things up?”
“No communication and everything is a blame game with no acceptance of responsibility.”
Lack Of Autonomy And Individuality
“Things like having to vet every little thing you do with a partner, being isolated from outside relationships, and not self-actualizing outside of the context of ‘part of a couple.'”
“There is usually a power imbalance or, at the very least, an unhealthy level of codependency.”
“I’ve known a few couples like this. They were never ‘able’ to do anything individually. Either they both came, or they didn’t come at all. It was maddening.”
“Someone who does not let you have a life outside of the relationship and gets upset when you see friends or do hobbies you like, even if you make time for them.”
You’re Always Walking On Eggshells
“If you have to wait until your significant other is in a ‘good mood’ to bring up a problem you have in the relationship.”
“Yup. If you bring it up when they’re in a bad mood, you’re insensitive and making their bad mood worse. If you bring it up when they’re neutral or in a good mood, you’re trying to put them in a bad mood.”
You Tend To Fight In Public
“Seriously, this one irks me to no end. If you’re constantly bickering when you’re out shopping or out with friends, please know that everyone who has to hear it hates you.”
“I’m friends with several couples who always do this, which led me to believe it’s normal. But it doesn’t have to be.”
Have you ever experienced these tendencies in a relationship? What other habits are tell-tale signs of toxicity?
You can read the original thread on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Advice