What’s more obnoxious than your stepchild’s partner acting like you don’t exist in your own home? I’ll wait. This 45-year-old woman has a 23-year-old stepson, and he and his 23-year-old girlfriend live with her and her husband part-time.
Since her stepson was a child, he would spend alternating weeks at her house and his mom’s, and he has stuck to that routine now that he’s an adult. Which is strange, but whatever.
Four years ago, he met his girlfriend, and she started coming to their house after she told her stepson she would feel better if this girl stayed over instead of him driving her home late at night, as it wasn’t safe.
Well, one night turned into a handful; things escalated from there, and this girl basically lives with them for the entire week her stepson is there. Then, she gets a break from her for a week, only to have her come right back when her stepson returns from his mom’s house.
Speaking of her stepson’s mom, she has banned his girlfriend from her house, so she’s forced to go home to be with her family when he’s there.
“The problem is that she does not talk to us. She walks into the house and goes straight up to his room and stays there. When she does come downstairs into the kitchen or family room, she avoids eye contact and will only speak if spoken to and only in a few words,” she explained.
“We sometimes make food for them, and there is no thank you. Stepson is always talking for her and explaining her behavior. Initially, it was that she is really shy and self-conscious.”
“She’s still in college, and stepson claims she needs a quiet place to study and rest because she is one of many kids at her home and it’s chaotic. We have had multiple conversations about this odd behavior, but nothing ever changes.”
She and her husband can hear this girl talking to her stepson through the walls, and when their friends come over, she interacts with them without a problem. So it’s literally just her and her husband getting ignored by this girl.
What really sent her over the edge was a week ago, when she asked her stepson and his girlfriend to please wash her car, because it was covered in cobwebs and messes birds had made. She then overheard her stepson’s girlfriend complaining about it.
She’s left wondering if she and her husband are somehow jerks for wanting this girl to not act like a freak in their home. They feel as if they have a bizarre roommate they never asked for.
“My husband doesn’t want to ask them to leave because he fought for so long to have equal time with his son, but this situation is not normal and is affecting [our other kids and me],” she continued.
“I feel like I’m losing perspective on this and asking myself if we are being unreasonable. But the tension is awkward, and I hate feeling this way in my own home.”
If this girl was a teenager, maybe I would have more sympathy for her, but she’s an adult, and she needs to start acting like one. It is unbelievably rude to have her behaving in the way that she is in a house that she does not own.
You can certainly be direct while still being nice, and that’s what needs to happen here. She should literally sit down with her husband, her stepson, and his girlfriend and say that it is unacceptable for her to ignore them in their house while also outlining to this girl that she has to show them respect and have manners.
If she can’t manage to do that, which is literally the bare minimum, she is no longer allowed to stay over.
That’s it, and who cares if that makes her stepson spend more time with his mom? I bet it won’t, though, considering his girlfriend isn’t allowed to even go there.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
