Chip Chick
The relationship feels old, stale, and boring. It’s not fun and new anymore, which is why they’ve lost interest and cut it off.
“You have to observe this statement as indicative of a loss of attraction,” he said. “It’s a heightened state of attraction that you’re no longer in.”
It can be really sad to see your relationship in this state or to have to face the fact that your partner no longer finds you attractive.
But Benny explained how commonplace these kinds of responses are. It happens to nearly everyone.
“Another thing that exes commonly say when they’re breaking up with you is that they need space,” he said. “Much like when they say they want to focus on themselves, it can mean the same thing.”
Both of these excuses that exes give are really derived from the same desire: freedom.
“They’ve experienced this loss of identity and loss of freedom, and they want to kind of get a grip on that again,” he said. “But it also could mean that they’re actually breaking up with you, you know, like they need a break–which is really a breakup–and for some undisclosed amount of time…you’re no longer going to be together.”
This response is a tricky one because it is double-sided. They don’t want to deal with you anymore, but they also don’t want you totally out of their life.
“They don’t wanna have to go through, you know, dealing with your emotions after they cut you loose, and they also want to keep you on the back burner,” he said. “That way, they can date other people and see how that works out, and if it doesn’t work out, they can come back to you.”
Though either answer is difficult to take, and no matter how upset you are, you shouldn’t try to get them back with them immediately afterward.
No matter what they say, they’re done with you–for now. Wait a little while, and then reach out to them.
