Her Husband’s New Female Friend Has Infiltrated Her House And Marriage, And It Is Driving Her Insane
This 28-year-old woman and her husband, who is 29, have been together for four years and married for nearly two years now.
But about four months ago, her husband met a 23-year-old woman at work who is now his best friend. And ever since then, her husband has been forcing his friend into their lives, and it is driving her insane.
For context, her husband has Autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and the woman he met at work has ADHD.
Apparently, the woman grew up living a very sheltered life since her family was extremely strict. So, her husband’s friend was home-schooled and never went to college.
As a result, the woman still acts very childish and does not know how to behave like a fully-functioning adult. And this behavior is only exacerbated since the woman still lives with her parents, who control basically her entire life.
“My husband felt bad for the woman because no one in their department could stand her. So, he’s taken her under his wing, and she never leaves his side,” she recalled.
About three months ago, however, she also started working at her husband’s company– just in a different department. Still, her husband really wanted her and the woman to be friends.
That’s why he kind of started forcing them to spend time together. First, her husband volunteered her to teach the woman how to drive. Then, he would make all three of them hang out once, sometimes twice, a week in addition to their breaks at work.
Over time, the constant hangouts only escalated, too. In fact, for the past month, her husband’s new friend has been staying at their house three to four nights each week so that way they can drive the woman to work. And she was not even in on that decision; her husband just kind of informed her it was happening.
ZoomTeam – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“So, at least five days out of the week every week, it’s the three of us. Then, the other two days, my husband and I are too tired from work and chores,” she revealed.
Now, at first, the arrangement was working out fine. Sometimes, the woman would be nice to her. But more than half the time, she claimed that the woman would be downright rude– glaring at her, muttering about things she said or did, interrupting her whenever she spoke, and actively trying to get in between her and her husband.
She noticed that the woman was super touchy-feely with her husband, too. Her husband tried to say that his friend was like that with everyone. But she found it weird that the woman was never like that with her, even though she was supposed to be a “friend.”
The fact that the woman does not help around the house at all has also started to really bother her. In the beginning, the woman made them a bunch of promises about cleaning up after herself. But her husband’s friend has never followed through on those.
For instance, the woman has never washed a single plate or utensil that she used. The woman also doesn’t buy any of her own groceries. Instead, her husband’s friend just buys cheese and fruit and then eats their food when she complains about not having enough for dinner.
Finally, her husband’s friend also throws garbage everywhere and never cleans anything up. Her husband doesn’t, either, which means it has become her responsibility.
Thankfully, she did try to bring all of this up to her husband. But he actually just accused her of overreacting and viewing his friend’s behavior through a malicious lens. He claimed there was no way the woman’s behavior was actually malicious, either, because the woman is apparently always talking about enjoying spending time with both her and her husband.
Still, her husband admitted that he doesn’t always notice the woman’s strange behavior. Plus, sometimes he does notice but just does not do anything about it because he doesn’t know how to react.
“And he initially thought it could have been malicious, but since he’s found out the woman has ADHD and treats other people in their department similarly horribly, he thinks it’s just because she’s mentally ill and I need to accept it,” she explained.
Regardless, her husband has never been on the receiving end of the woman’s rude behavior– which he made sure to tell her during an argument about the woman’s impact on her. And that stung.
She feels like she has really tried to be friends with the woman, and she goes out of her way to make the woman feel comfortable at their apartment.
“Some days, it’s okay, and I think we’re making progress. And then, the next day, I’m treated like I don’t even exist or like my existence is literally the bane of hers,” she said.
So, constantly having her husband’s friend around has been slowly driving her insane.
She already suffers from depression, and the constant presence has made her mental health spiral even more because her apartment just does not feel like her home anymore.
On top of that, she and her husband have been fighting practically every day, and seeing the woman all of the time has put her in a constant state of stress.
She tried to tell her husband how emotionally drained she is, too, but he just does not understand the issue.
Instead, he just keeps trying to force her and the woman to spend even more time together to become friends.
He also claimed that he would find some way to “fix” the situation because he doesn’t want to have to choose between her or the woman.
This has not worked at all, though, and she has just been stuck spending time with the woman in order to spend any time with her own husband.
And quite frankly, she just doesn’t get her husband’s perspective. She knows that if she had a friend who treated him badly, she would not want to continue the friendship.
“I’ve talked about how I don’t understand how a friend he’s had for four months– who treats me like garbage– is treated equally to me, his wife, the supposed love of his life,” she vented.
“I’m losing my freaking mind.”
So now, she’s been trying to figure out what she has to do in order to get her husband to understand the impact his friend is having on both their marriage and her personal mental health.
Can you believe her husband doesn’t want to “choose” between his wife and someone he’s only known for four months? How would you feel if a new coworker suddenly stayed at your house and became a part of your marriage? What can she do to get through to her husband? Do you think anything will work?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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