Her Boyfriend Was Recently Diagnosed With Cancer, And She’s Considering Leaving Him So She Can Find A Man Who Can Give Her A Long-Term Marriage And Kids
Eight months ago, this woman met her boyfriend on a dating app. When they matched on the dating app, they were on the same page about their intentions.
She and her boyfriend were both searching for a long-term partner and someone they could share their lives with.
A month after meeting in person, she and her boyfriend made their relationship official. For the past seven months since then, their relationship has been going smoothly.
“We are excellent at communication, have common interests, and generally have a good time together,” she said.
“We both have good/stable jobs, albeit we are both in high-stress fields and work about 10-12 hours a day.”
Because their jobs take up so much of their time, she and her boyfriend are only able to get together about once a week, but neither of them has an issue with this.
They are still in the process of getting to know each other since it’s so early in their relationship, but she thinks that maybe things between them could progress and become more serious someday.
“About a month ago, he started having significant fatigue, weight loss, and random pains in his stomach, and he urgently saw a doctor,” she explained.
“They found a mass in his stomach, and he was diagnosed with stomach cancer with plans for surgery/radiation and upcoming chemotherapy.”
_chupacabra_ – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“We both cried together, and I was there with him during his doctors’ appointments, where they discussed his prognosis.”
Unfortunately, at these appointments, the doctors didn’t provide good news. They said that based on his genes, despite having surgery and treatment, there was a high likelihood that his cancer would come back.
They also emphasized that his treatment would be intense, and he’d have to take a lot of medical leave. The doctors also advised him to hire someone to care for him day and night.
“I’m torn on what to do. We haven’t said that we love each other. We don’t share finances, nor do we live together,” she shared.
“One part of me feels that this diagnosis changes everything. I want to have a partner with whom I am able to have kids, have them be around for their growth and development, and someone who doesn’t have a higher-than-normal chance of dying from a deadly disease compared to the general population.”
In her opinion, at this stage in their relationship, it’s too soon for her to take care of him and take on this huge responsibility.
While they’ve discussed the idea of being in a long-term relationship together down the road, they haven’t expressed any clear-cut plans to have a wedding or engagement.
While her boyfriend was at the hospital, they immediately started chemotherapy to get ahead of his cancer, so there wasn’t time for them to try to protect his fertility.
Also, she and her boyfriend haven’t talked about finances at all, so she doesn’t know if he will have disability insurance, who he will hire to care for him, or if it will be a family member or any other details.
Throughout this situation, she has met his family, but since she and her boyfriend just started dating recently, they don’t seem to trust her enough to take her suggestions or advice seriously concerning his treatment.
This has made her uncomfortable because even though she understands their worry about him, she doesn’t know what to do or how to act around his family.
Now, she doesn’t know how to handle this situation because she wonders if she should break up with her boyfriend so that she can find a partner who she is more likely able to have a long-term marriage and children with.
She is also hoping to find a relationship similar to the one she has now but is concerned that she is only thinking about herself and not her boyfriend.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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