She Started Keeping A Diary After Her Husband Cheated On Her, And Even Though He Reads It Behind Her Back, It Has Made Their Marriage Better
This 28-year-old woman has been with her 27-year-old husband for five years, and they got married two years ago.
She says their relationship is like anyone else’s: full of highs and lows. The one moment that was the lowest for them was when she learned that her husband cheated on her in the first year that they were dating.
Her gut instinct told her to walk away, but she didn’t. Not only did she stay with him, she got married to him.
“Funnily enough, it didn’t backfire on me,” she explained. “It never happened again. My husband (then boyfriend) jumped through hoops to regain my trust.”
“He’s the love of my life, and I felt validated that he truly was a good man who made some stupid decisions. Hence deciding to marry him.”
“That being said, the issues being cheated on leaves you with are hard to tackle. My self-esteem was nonexistent, and whilst my husband did everything he could to soothe my anxieties when I struggled with trust, it was (and is) tough.”
After she first confronted her husband about his cheating, he never wanted to speak about it ever again, and he avoided discussing her feelings.
She thinks that his effort to forget about his bad decisions was his way of putting it all behind them.
She believes her husband thought she would forget about it, too, if she really considered him to be the man for her.
Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
With nowhere to really turn and lacking the ability to forgive and forget, she started a diary to get her emotions out. Some days were really hard on her, and she would write down in her diary how she really felt.
“As perfect as our relationship became, I still had bad days where I couldn’t reconcile the man I love with the man who hurt me so much,” she said.
“I would find the girls on social media and hate myself for not looking like them. And I couldn’t talk about it with anybody because I didn’t want to ruin his reputation with my friends or family, and he didn’t want to be reminded.”
This year was extremely difficult for her, and it made her think back to her husband’s infidelity, which she wrote a lot about.
Around six months ago, she noticed her husband was behaving weirdly. He was down, acting distant and sad, and he eventually said to her that he feels as if he ruined her and can’t figure out how to fix what he’s done.
The words her husband used were completely ripped out of her diary, so in that instant, she knew he was reading it behind her back.
She and her husband then had a lengthy discussion about how he felt remorseful and terrible about cheating, which was why he never wanted to bring it up.
And she had the opportunity to make it clear to him why she was still struggling with everything from their past.
Even though her husband invaded her privacy, what came out of it was incredible and what she had wanted from him all along.
“Given what came out of it, I wasn’t even upset about privacy,” she continued. “I was very unhappy, and I assume my husband read it out of desperation to figure out what was wrong, especially since everything seemed to be good.”
“Except it’s kind of become a thing now? I still journal about everything: little tiffs, life stuff, how I’m feeling and coping. And I know my husband is still reading it based on his word choice and his behavior. We’re communicating more than ever (outside of the journal), and we’re the happiest we’ve ever been, and yet… it’s a bit weird, isn’t it?”
“I know he’s reading it. Does he know that I know that he’s reading it? I have no clue. It’s still benefiting me, it seems like it’s benefiting him and our marriage as a whole.”
Do you think she should address this or let it go?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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