He Doesn’t Want His Girlfriend To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom Since He Isn’t Comfortable Being The Sole Provider For Her Two Kids, Who His Girlfriend Had During A Previous Relationship
Since May of 2022, this 28-year-old man has been in a relationship with Amy, 29.
They met through a mutual friend of theirs, and their relationship had been going smoothly.
However, that changed several days ago.
Amy has twin sons from a previous relationship, and her sons are 7 years old.
He has had a great relationship with Amy’s sons.
As the relationship progressed, they started to have discussions about moving in together, and they were trying to figure out the logistics of how this would pan out with her children.
He thought they were on the same page, but one day, Amy suggested that while apartment hunting, they should be looking for an apartment where he would be able to afford the rent on just his income since she wanted to be a stay-at-home mother.
He and Amy had already agreed they wouldn’t be having more children, and two years ago, he made the decision to be sterilized, which Amy is aware of.
“She said it’s always been her dream to be a stay-at-home mother for her kids, and the boys will benefit a lot from always having her home. She said she knows it’ll be a lot for me to take on, but she would appreciate it if we could talk about it and possibly make it happen as soon as we move in together,” he said.
halayalex – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
When he and Amy talked about the idea, he expressed that he felt uneasy at the thought of being the only financial provider for the four of them. While he would be able to pay for rent on his own, once he added in other bills, paying for groceries and buying things for the twins, he knew he couldn’t afford all of that. Plus, even if he could, he would never have any money left over in order to save.
Then, he pointed out that her sons are old enough that they spend most of their time in school during the week. So, while he agreed with her that there are positives to a parent staying at home, in their particular case, this wasn’t necessary.
He added that being the only one bringing in an income would feel like a lot of pressure. In response, Amy told him that she could see his perspective and it was okay. They didn’t have another discussion about the idea of her being a stay-at-home mother.
A week later, Amy’s mother called him. At first, her mother was nice and made small talk, but she didn’t waste much time getting into the topic she was calling him to discuss.
“She asked why I decided to date a single mother if I was not willing to step up for her and her kids. To be honest, this made me angry. I didn’t know deciding to date a single mom meant I’d have to happily be financially responsible for them all. I told her, with all due respect, this was between Amy and me. She said Amy won’t have more kids because she’s with me, and this is her only chance of being completely devoted to her kids. Although I can ‘easily’ afford it, I’m being stingy because I simply can’t be bothered to make a sacrifice,” he explained.
During the call, he was infuriated, and he did his best not to say anything mean in response. All he said was that this wasn’t her problem before hanging up.
Later on, he had a talk with Amy and asked what her mother was talking about.
Amy told him that she’d wanted to rant to someone about the situation, so she talked to her mother. According to her, her mother was just looking out for her.
In her view, she wanted him to hear what her mother had to say before he ruled out the idea of her being a stay-at-home mother.
“I asked if it would be okay for me to go tell my mother that my girlfriend is asking me to bankroll her and her children’s lives and watch my mom call her names for it,” he shared.
After that, Amy told him that he was taking this to heart way too much, adding that he should have known that she was going to have issues with how he didn’t want her to be a stay-at-home mother.
And while the father of Amy’s sons isn’t a terrible person or anything, he doesn’t make much money, and he currently lives halfway around the world. Amy’s ex can’t afford to pay child support because he is barely scraping by on his own. Also, he has a ton of health problems, so he hasn’t been able to work as much as he would like to.
Despite not being close by, the twins’ father calls them often and does as much as he can according to his means.
Luckily, Amy’s income has been enough for her to provide for herself and her sons.
What would you do if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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