His Ex-Wife Tried To Punish His Teen Kids For Going Out To A Party, But He Told His Ex They Weren’t A Team And She Couldn’t Make Parenting Decisions Since She Disappeared For Years
This man is feeling a wide range of emotions after a recent fight with his ex-wife.
When he was much younger, he got married to a woman he believed was the love of his life.
They had a son and a daughter together.
“Unfortunately, I did not know my wife was an addict when we married. She hid it extremely well until a few years in. I began noticing patterns and eventually confronted her. We split when the oldest was 3, and she signed over custody,” he said.
After the divorce, he was aware that his ex-wife was homeless for a period of time because her parents didn’t want to have any contact with her, and she had nowhere to go. Other than that, he had no other information on what was going on with her.
A year ago, she reached out and told him that she had been sober for the last three years and now has a reliable job and a house.
He asked her family members to verify these updates, and they all told him that it was accurate and she was being honest with him.
Apparently, his ex said that she wanted to have a relationship with “‘her kids,'” and even though he was hurt that she referred to their children as only hers, he felt that he should allow their children to decide whether or not they wanted to see her.
Their son is 16, and their daughter is 17 and turning 18 soon.
Petro – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Once they thought it through, their children came to the decision that they wanted to try to have a relationship with her.
Twice a week, their children have been getting together with his ex-wife. Nearly every night of the week, he allows his ex to have dinner with them at his house. So far, their children haven’t slept over at her house.
As of right now, his ex is more of an aunt to their children, but they seem to be enjoying their time with her.
While he doesn’t believe that he’s an amazing father, he does believe that he’s a pretty good father, at the very least.
In order to have a foundation built on trust, they’ve been through therapy, and he has had constant deep conversations with his children throughout the years.
His children are pretty popular at their school, and they were both invited to go to a party. He allowed them to attend.
He has had talks with his children about the risks of drinking and using substances, and he’s made it clear that if they need a ride so that they can leave an uncomfortable situation, he is always willing to pick them up if they need him. Plus, he has been honest about why he and his ex-wife divorced.
“My kids came home around 11 p.m. and just gave me the teen-type rundown. Who was there, they couldn’t believe who did what, blah blah,” he explained.
“They were also honest with me and told me they tried Jello shots, which they thought were gross. That was the end of that.”
“They weren’t drunk. They weren’t buzzed. They tried a drink, and that was that. They were there for two hours and came home.”
The next morning, their children went to breakfast with his ex-wife, and they mentioned the party that they went to the night before.
When she learned about the party, she was furious. She attempted to ground them for two weeks and told them that they weren’t allowed to use electronics or hang out with friends while they were grounded.
Then, their children reached out to him, said that the breakfast get-together with his ex was uncomfortable, and asked him if he could pick them up.
He drove to pick them up and had them wait in the car while he talked to his ex-wife to find out what happened.
She told him that she tried grounding them, and this made him laugh.
After laughing at her, he asked her why she felt like she had any authority to do that.
She said that she wants to be a mother to “her kids,” and she told him that he should allow her the opportunity to be a parent.
Continuing, she assured him that she was doing her absolute best to make this situation work.
He responded, saying that she basically missed her chance. Their children are close to adulthood; they both work part-time, pay their phone bills, buy their own clothes (their children chose to do so), and are already planning for their futures.
After that, his ex-wife claimed that he was taking away her opportunity to do the right thing. She then questioned what the point was of allowing her to see their children if he wasn’t going to give her the freedom to make her own parenting choices.
“She said that we needed to be a team because she needed my support. I told her the kids are well past the age of asking me why Mommy doesn’t love them when crawling into my bed at night and that she was welcome to leave again,” he shared.
“As far as being a team, the only team is my kids and me. I am their parent. They listen to me and respect me because I’ve listened to and respected them their whole lives.”
Since the fight, which happened a week and a half ago, he and his ex-wife haven’t said another word to one another.
His ex has continued texting their children to say good morning and good night, but she has canceled the last two get-togethers that she and the children had planned to have.
Do you think he was wrong for what he said to his ex-wife?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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