New Research Suggests That Keeping Secrets, Particularly Ones About Positive News, Isn’t A Bad Thing And Actually Makes Us Feel More “Alive” And Energized
Have you ever received good news and immediately wanted to share it with those you love?
Well, according to a recent study from the American Psychological Association, it may actually boost feelings of energy and vitality if you delay the sharing of good news and keep it a secret for a while.
“Decades of research on secrecy suggest it is bad for our well-being, but this work has only examined keeping secrets that have negative implications for our lives. Is secrecy inherently bad for our well-being, or do the negative effects of secrecy tend to stem from keeping negative secrets?” asked Michael Slepian, the study’s lead author.
“While negative secrets are far more common than positive secrets, some of life’s most joyful occasions begin as secrets, including secret marriage proposals, pregnancies, surprise gifts, and exciting news.”
A preliminary survey involving 500 individuals revealed that a significant majority– or 76%– indicated their immediate reaction to receiving good news would be to share it with someone else.
However, there are numerous significant and joyful milestones that people might opt to keep confidential, including events like marriage proposals, finding out about a much-wanted pregnancy, or indulging in an extravagant purchase.
To delve into the motivations for keeping happy secrets and to assess the effects of these secrets in contrast to those kept due to negative or embarrassing reasons, the researchers orchestrated five distinct experiments involving a collective of more than 2,500 participants.
In a specific experiment, participants were presented with a list featuring close to 40 typical kinds of positive news, including scenarios like saving money, purchasing a self-gift, or decreasing debt. They were then asked to identify which pieces of good news they were currently experiencing and which they had chosen to keep private.
Some participants were instructed to think about the positive news they had kept to themselves, while others contemplated non-secret good news.
Photo 123072928 © Albertshakirov – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Following this, the participants assessed how much energy the news gave them and whether they planned to share it with others.
The study discovered that, on average, individuals had between 14 and 15 instances of good news, out of which about five to six were kept confidential.
Those participants who pondered over their concealed positive news experienced greater levels of energy compared to those who reflected on their non-secret good news.
Furthermore, participants who expressed an intention to eventually share their news, regardless of its secrecy status, also reported feeling more energized.
“Positive secrets that people choose to keep should make them feel good, and positive emotion is a known predictor of feeling energized,” Slepian said.
However, throughout four follow-up studies, the team also discovered that positive secrets can improve feelings of vitality for different reasons.
In one of these experiments, participants were shown a list of typical good news scenarios and asked to pick the one they thought was most likely to occur to them soon.
One group of participants envisioned keeping this good news a secret until they shared it with their partner later that day.
Another group imagined that they couldn’t contact their partner at the moment, thus delaying the sharing of the news until later.
The study found that participants who deliberately chose to withhold the information for a surprising reveal felt more energized compared to those who were simply unable to share the news immediately.
In a different experiment, participants were requested to remember a current positive secret (one that made them feel good), a current negative secret (one that made them feel bad), or just any current secret they had.
The findings indicated that individuals tend to keep positive secrets primarily for internal or personal reasons rather than due to external pressures or the feeling of being compelled to conceal the information.
According to Slepian, unlike negative or embarrassing secrets, which are frequently kept due to external pressures or fears, positive secrets tend to invigorate people when they have the autonomy to choose to keep the information confidential.
“People will often keep positive secrets for their own enjoyment or to make a surprise more exciting,” Slepian explained.
“Rather than based on external pressures, positive secrets are more often chosen due to personal desires and internal motives. When we feel that our actions arise from our own desires rather than external pressures, we also feel ready to take on whatever lies ahead.”
Lastly, the study revealed that the act of keeping good news to oneself can lead to feeling “alive” and more energized, irrespective of whether there is an intention to eventually share that information with others or not.
“People sometimes go to great lengths to orchestrate revealing a positive secret to make it all the more exciting. This kind of surprise can be intensely enjoyable, but surprise is the most fleeting of our emotions,” Slepian concluded.
“Having extra time– days, weeks, or even longer– to imagine the joyful surprise on another person’s face allows us more time with this exciting moment, even if only in our own minds.”
To read the study’s complete findings, which have since been published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, visit the link here.
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