She’s Considering Calling Off Her Engagement Because Her Fiancé Lied To His Family About How They Intend To Have Children, Even Though She Doesn’t Want Kids
This 22-year-old woman and her fiancé, 23, planned to get married next year. They set their wedding date, but they still have a ton of planning to do.
Unfortunately, she’s currently debating on whether or not to postpone or even cancel their wedding.
At the beginning of their relationship, she was very clear with her fiancé that she had never wanted to have children, and she’s always been sure about this.
They have since gone on to be together for three years. Four months ago, she and her then-boyfriend went on a trip together, and he proposed to her while they were at the beach.
She happily accepted his proposal, and as they discussed the potential date for their wedding, they settled on getting married on the anniversary of their first date.
After they got engaged, she brought up the topic of children once more to check in with him, and he told her that he still didn’t want children, so she felt like they were on the same page in their views.
She and her fiancé told her parents about their recent engagement, and her parents were thrilled.
The joy began to dissipate when they went to see his parents. Her fiancé is the youngest child in his family. He has two older brothers and an older sister. All of his siblings are married and have kids.
While eating dinner together as a family, she and her fiancé told them that they were engaged. At first, the conversation was positive and filled with congratulations from his family.
Levon – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
From there, they started talking about the details involved in their wedding planning, like choosing a venue and what their guest list would look like. At one point, her fiancé’s sister asked them how many kids they wanted to have.
Over the course of their relationship, her fiancé requested that she not tell his family that they won’t have any children because he knew his family would be angry and fight about it.
Given what her fiancé asked of her, she was in a tough spot and didn’t know what to say to his sister.
Usually, they tell people that they haven’t decided whether or not they want to have children, but she didn’t feel comfortable being dishonest with one of her fiancé’s family members.
She knew that the topic would keep coming up as time went on, so she thought it would be a better option to just tell the truth. But her fiancé responded before she could, claiming that they were planning to have just one child.
“His father and one of his brothers started teasing him for wanting just one, suggesting we should aim for at least three like the rest so we could experience the joy of a large family like everyone else. He laughed along with them, making jokes about wanting more if I didn’t make it difficult for him,” she explained.
When this banter first started, her idea was to confront her fiancé after dinner was over. But when she heard her fiancé’s “jokes” about wanting more children, she stood up from the table and asked her fiancé to come talk with him in the backyard.
Her fiancé hesitated before finally getting up and leaving the table with her, refusing to look her in the eye.
The first thing he said when they got outside was that immediately getting up and leaving to talk in the middle of dinner was impolite.
She bluntly asked him why he made the comment about wanting one child and then joked about how he wanted more than that. He didn’t give her direct answers; instead, he danced around the topic altogether by repeating his discomfort and attempting to avoid fights with his family.
In response, she told her fiancé that they needed to be upfront with his family now to help avoid potential issues going forward, but he didn’t like this idea.
So, she expressed that she wouldn’t be standing by this false family plan her fiancé came up with and turned to walk back inside.
It was then that her fiancé dropped the bombshell that he changed his mind and now wants to have kids. He added that he wants many children.
“He had been thinking about it for months before proposing. I reminded him of our previous conversation, and he admitted he hoped to convince me after marriage,” she shared.
“I told him I wouldn’t change my mind, and out of nowhere, he started insulting me, calling me a stupid, arrogant, and selfish person for wanting to deprive him of the ‘best experience in the world.'”
The deception on the part of her fiancé, in addition to his cruel words, shocked her. Rather than arguing back to him, she walked inside to inform his family that she didn’t want children and would never want them.
She felt like it was crucial that his family members heard the truth from her before she removed herself from the situation.
After that, she packed up her bags and went to stay at a hotel so that she had the space to think things through without saying things to her fiancé that she may later regret.
While trying to process everything, she reached out to her family for emotional support, which helped a bit.
Throughout the entire time she and her fiancé have dated, she’s made it clear that she was firm in her decision never to have children.
In her view, it’s awful that her fiancé deceived her for the entirety of their relationship, but his behavior was even more heinous when he called her names once it became clear to him that he couldn’t convince her to change her mind.
Because of this, she’s now weighing the option of canceling their wedding and breaking up with her fiancé.
Part of the reason she hasn’t ended the engagement yet is that she can’t help continuing to love her fiancé. Until this point, they haven’t had horrible fights or disagreements like this.
Before meeting her fiancé, her idea of a soulmate was a person who had a lot of passions similar to hers.
The two of them both enjoyed anime, playing video games, animals, going all out for Halloween, and dressing up. They share a gorgeous Persian cat together.
She clarified that her age shouldn’t determine whether or not her decision not to have children is taken seriously. From her perspective, her age doesn’t mean she’s immature or naive or will change her mind about children when she’s older.
While she believes some opinions can change or evolve over time, she explained that there are other views we have that never falter, no matter how many years pass. In her case, this unwavering choice is to remain child-free.
So far, she has been in three relationships, and she was honest with every single partner that she didn’t want children.
Other than her fiancé, one of her previous partners expressed that he wanted to have children, and they ended their relationship before things became more serious.
While she’s been staying in a hotel, her fiancé tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she texted him and asked for him to come to see her at the hotel the following day to talk.
She’s predicting that this talk will be when they officially end their engagement and part ways.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships