It’s Possible To Reparent Yourself After Growing Up With A Narcissistic Parent And Heal Your Inner Child: Here’s How
It’s safe to say that people with difficult parents, especially narcissistic parents, are going to struggle with certain things as adults.
For instance, if you grew up with selfish, narcissistic parents, you likely have had your fair share of struggles with mental health issues and trying not to let your childhood trauma affect too many aspects of your adult life.
One of the hardest things to accept when you’re an adult who was raised by toxic parents is that you’ll have to reparent yourself.
This means working to teach yourself how to stand up for yourself and cope and get through challenges in life – something your parents should have taught you but never did.
Here are a few tips for reparenting yourself and growing as a strong adult after having to put up with narcissistic parents.
Communicate with yourself
When you’re born to toxic parents, you subconsciously put up a lot of guards and will do whatever it takes to protect yourself in your life.
You may hear your inner voice telling you not to do something or holding you back from something because it makes you feel anxious. When you feel that happening, you should try talking to yourself.
It may sound weird, but if you feel like a part of you is holding yourself back from something, you could ask yourself, “What are you scared of?” or “What are you protecting me from?”
Anatoliy Karlyuk – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Then, try your best to honestly answer those questions and figure out ways to combat your stress and anxiety in a healthy way, which will help you break down your walls without the help of anyone else.
Do things for your inner child
People often tell us we need to do things that will “heal our inner child.” While it’s impossible to go back in time and repair a damaged or difficult childhood, you can do things as an adult that you wish you had gotten to do as a kid.
Simple things like going to the movies or spending time at a beautiful outdoor park, zoo, or amusement park are great ways to treat yourself to a bit of childhood magic as an adult. You can truly allow yourself to “play” and feel free, which, if you had narcissistic parents, you might not have gotten to do that often.
Let yourself dance around your kitchen, dress up in fun outfits, and get some ice cream on a sunny day. Give yourself the simple pleasures you wish your parents had let you indulge in as a child.
Ease up on the self-criticism
When you grow up with parents who are very critical and always find ways to critique or judge you, you tend to do it to yourself as an adult. To begin healing, you must stop being so hard on yourself.
Don’t let the self-loathing toxicity that your parents exposed you to get carried around with you for the rest of your life.
Make an effort to be kinder to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake or do something embarrassing. Instead, take deep breaths, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and move on.
Take good care of yourself
If your parents did the bare minimum when it came to taking care of you, you have to take extra good care of yourself as an adult. Just because your parents didn’t offer you proper care and nourishment doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. Feed yourself good, nourishing food throughout the day. Move your body in a way that makes you happy and feel good, not in a way that exhausts you.
Don’t forget to make time for self-care through meditation, therapy sessions, journaling, spa treatments, etc. You deserve proper care and nourishment, and you should give it to yourself instead of waiting for someone to give it to you.
Celebrate your big and small victories
Narcissistic parents often don’t show up for their kids or give them the praise they deserve. If that is the case with your parents, you have to do it for yourself.
Whether you did something big like getting a promotion at work or something small like deep cleaning your house, you should give yourself a proper pat on the back. Buy yourself a little treat, or simply tell yourself you did a great job.
Trying to make your way in the world as a functioning, healthy adult after growing up in a household where your parents cared more about themselves than you may seem impossible. However, with extra dedication to caring for and fending for yourself, you’ll be alright. You’ve got this!
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