7 Signs You’re Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner
Nothing In Life Is Ever Completely Linear, From Our Moods To Our Interests And Even Our Relationships.
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Amidst things like busy schedules, stress, life changes, and personal growth, it’s natural for circumstances (and our connection with others) to ebb and flow.
Think about it: have you ever drifted away from a friend? Maybe nothing actually went “wrong,” and you two never had a falling out. Yet, differing life situations or priorities just led you away from each other.
Here Are 7 Signs You’re Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner
It’s generally acknowledged and accepted that, in adulthood, friendships may come and go. With romantic partnerships, though, the reality of drifting apart can be harder to swallow.
If you’ve been feeling emotionally or physically distant from your partner, realize that you’re not alone. Most long-term couples can recall time periods when they felt super close to their significant other versus not so much.
The key is to practice awareness and recognize the signs as early as possible. That way, you can work to close the gap and rekindle the bond in your relationship. So, here are seven indicators that you’re currently feeling disconnected from your partner.
1. Communication Has Broken Down
The best way to tell whether partners are on the same page (and, in turn, feeling connected) is how they communicate with each other. It takes mutual curiosity, active listening, compromise, compassion, and understanding for couples to feel seen and heard in their relationships.
When things get chaotic or stressful, however, it’s easy to suffer a “communication breakdown.” Maybe you and your partner are talking to each other less often or with less care, leaving you both feeling misunderstood or overlooked.
At the same time, it’s possible that you and your partner have stopped fully opening up and sharing your honest feelings, which makes it hard to maintain an emotional attachment.
2. Fights Have Become More Frequent
In the wake of decreased or more surface-level communication, fights may also become common. Of course, it’s normal (and actually healthy) to disagree with your partner, but it’s the joint effort that helps rectify problems and prevent them from happening again.
Yet, couples who are feeling disconnected often struggle to work as a team since they don’t fully understand each other’s perspectives and emotions. So, instead of tackling issues as a unit, they keep arguing as solo individuals. And that just leads to more resentment in the long run.
3. You And Your Partner Are Leading Parallel Lives
It’s incredibly difficult to feel “in touch” with your partner when your lives aren’t intertwined. Maybe work has gotten hectic, keeping you two on opposite schedules. Or, family responsibilities have pulled you and your partner away from each other, increasing the physical distance (and lack of connection) in your relationship.
While maintaining your own autonomy and independence is great in relationships, couples still have to spend time with one another to keep the spark alive. In this scenario, the best thing you can do is find a way to close the physical gap and prioritize more quality time together.
4. Your Needs Aren’t Being Fulfilled
Why do we enter romantic relationships in the first place? Well, because they fulfill deeper, more profound needs that platonic relationships just can’t satisfy. That’s why it can be really disheartening to wake up one day and realize your partner is no longer meeting your expectations.
We all have our own “love languages” and other requirements that we desire in romantic relationships. And even if your partner once met those needs, it doesn’t mean their dedication and effort level will remain the same forever.
The most important thing to do in this situation is to determine why your partner’s motivation has dwindled. Is it because they have something else going on in their life, an external factor that’s pulling their focus and attention away from you for a temporary period? Or is it because their investment in your relationship is waning?
5. And You Also Don’t Feel Motivated To Put In Effort
Now, relationships are all about give and take. So, in conjunction with the last sign, it’s also a red flag of disconnection if you don’t feel motivated to fulfill your partner’s needs either.
Perhaps you’ve begun withdrawing from your partner, avoiding physical affection or emotional vulnerability. Or, you’ve just stopped “trying” in ways that previously made your partner’s life easier or happier, like completing responsibilities, following through on promises, and making little romantic gestures.
You have to ask yourself if your altered behavior is in response to your partner’s lack of effort or if you are just no longer invested in your own relationship.
6. Joint Plans And Goals Have Fallen To The Wayside
One of the best parts about being in a relationship is having someone by your side as you dream and set goals, since you get to work toward them together. But when two partners stop feeling emotionally close, they can quickly lose sight of the “bigger picture.”
Sure, things like money, family, or just a beautiful new city can be motivating factors that push people to further their careers, work on their finances, or relocate. But achieving such aspirations becomes much harder when you’re in a relationship with someone you don’t feel “in the trenches” with.
So, conversations about the future may be less frequent now, and efforts toward shared goals have shrunk.
7. You Feel Lonely
Finally, the biggest sign of disconnection is feeling lonely in your own relationship.
Have you ever sat in the same room as your partner and felt like you were worlds apart? It’s a sobering experience that suggests you two are suffering from emotional distance.
Couples, in my opinion, are supposed to be best friends. And if you’ve previously felt that close to your partner, chances are you can rebuild your connection. It will just take some honesty and vulnerability to determine how the distance formed in the first place, as well as accountability, as you both work on preventing such a divide from cropping up again down the road.
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