Her Boyfriend’s Ex Keeps Going Into Their House To Grab Her Stepdaughter’s Things Whenever They Aren’t Home, And It’s Making Her Privacy Feel Very Violated
When you’re dating or married to someone still involved with their ex because they share custody of a child, it’s really important to set boundaries. If those boundaries get crossed, it causes a lot of tension.
One woman is unsure of what to do after her boyfriend’s ex, her stepdaughter’s mother, repeatedly entered their house to pick up her daughter’s things whenever they aren’t home.
She’s 34 and has been living in a house with her 37-year-old boyfriend of five years for a little over three years. Her boyfriend has a seven-year-old daughter, Jesse, with his ex-girlfriend, and they share custody of her.
Their house gets locked and unlocked by a door code, which Jesse knows since it’s her home, too. Jesse’s mom routinely comes by their house to pick Jesse up for her days with her, but recently, she’s been stopping by at unexpected times because she keeps ‘forgetting’ some of Jesse’s things at the house.
Her boyfriend’s ex keeps claiming to have forgotten important things Jesse needs for her extracurriculars, like her skis and skates, and chooses to pick them up with her whenever she and her boyfriend aren’t home.
Once, her boyfriend’s ex called him while they were at work because she needed to pick up Jesse’s skis.
“He told her to wait until I got home from work in about 20 minutes, and I would go and grab them,” she explained.
“Jess is too small to carry her skis and all the gear herself. When I arrived, they were already in the house. Both my boyfriend and I were unhappy about this.”
To make matters worse, Jesse’s skis weren’t even at the house, so her boyfriend’s ex was wandering around their home for no reason.
bnenin – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Recently, another incident was the last straw for her. Jesse had a skating field trip scheduled with her mom that she and her boyfriend weren’t aware of.
On the day of the field trip, Jesse and her mom went into their house while she and her boyfriend weren’t home so they could grab her skates. Her boyfriend’s ex tried calling him, but he never got it because there was bad service.
Later, Jesse told her that her mom had grabbed her skates for her, which immediately made her feel unsettled, as the skates were located in her and her boyfriend’s bedroom.
They weren’t right by the bedroom door either; they were in the bedroom closet, which meant Jesse’s mom could’ve been looking around their private space for who knows how long.
To make matters worse, when she and her boyfriend first moved in together, he did have to talk to his wife about boundaries, one of them being that she couldn’t let herself into their home whenever. Although it’s been three years since then, she never changed her ways.
Now, she wants to tell her boyfriend that his ex shouldn’t be allowed into their home at all anymore.
“I don’t know if this is dramatic, but I feel very violated over this,” she said.
“She went into our home without permission and into our bedroom. His mom lives less than a block away, and I was thinking of saying that if his ex needed to pick something up, she could meet his mother at our house and wait outside. Jess is always allowed in, but his ex is not. I feel very strongly that it is my home and my safe space.”
Would she be wrong to not let her boyfriend’s ex into her home anymore, or is it a reasonable request?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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