Stop Believing That You’re Supposed To Love Your Partner Unconditionally: It Can Actually Lead You To Overlook Crucial Limits And Boundaries
Have you ever met someone who made you feel bad because they’ve boasted about how they and their partner love each other “unconditionally?”
When people tell you that you and your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse are supposed to love each other unconditionally no matter what, sometimes you just want to roll your eyes.
Or, you try to love your person unconditionally, but something makes you realize that’s practically impossible, and you feel bad.
However, it’s important to remember that when you say you love your partner unconditionally, that means you love them without any limits. But that means you’ve agreed to love your partner even if they cheat, lie, or hurt you.
Limits and boundaries are necessary in relationships, as you have to establish them to protect yourself. When you let your partner constantly cross those boundaries, you’re giving them permission to take advantage of you.
Yes, it’s amazing to find love where you feel like you and your partner could survive just about anything. But there should be limits in order to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Here are a few more reasons why you should reconsider loving your partner “unconditionally.”
There could be a power struggle
If you continue to tell your partner you love them unconditionally, they may use it as a way to take advantage of you. They may believe they have the power to get away with hurting you or messing up your plans, as you promised to love them no matter what.
Look! – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
You need them to put in the effort
Just because you may try to love your partner unconditionally doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for you. Being in a relationship is all about putting in work and coming together to get through life’s challenges.
You want to love someone who is willing to hold up their end of the relationship responsibilities instead of staying with someone who hardly contributes.
Boundaries are important
Again, having limits and boundaries in a relationship is crucial to keeping it healthy. Loving someone with no boundaries could put you in a dangerous position.
Even if you feel like you’d be willing to do everything with and for your partner, you need boundaries to keep yourself safe and respected.
You limit your opportunities for change and growth
When you constantly tell your partner you love them unconditionally, you’re telling them you love them just the way they are. However, sometimes, people need to change and grow in relationships. People are meant to evolve and improve their strengths in relationships instead of staying comfortably stagnant.
Another important thing to remember about loving someone “unconditionally” is that you open a door for them to cross your boundaries and disrespect you, which is detrimental to your self-love and care.
Of course, you can promise to love someone through any mistakes and challenges, but it’s vital to remember not to tolerate any abuse, harassment, and disrespect. Keep communicating with your partner and stand up for yourself.
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