Her Boyfriend Said He Won’t Propose Until She Does Certain Things That Make Him “Want” To Pop The Question
Many of us have dreamed of growing up, meeting someone who loves us as much as we love them, and getting married.
However, sometimes that dream gets more complicated as we get older, and we may end up with a partner who is practically married to us but believes the actual concept of marriage is a “construct.”
One woman has been unsure what to do in her relationship with her long-term boyfriend, who recently told her she needed to do things for him that would make him “want to propose” to her before they get married.
She’s 27 and has been with her 28-year-old boyfriend for five years. She’d love to get married and is finally in a place where she feels emotionally, financially, and mentally ready to marry her boyfriend.
However, even though they’ve been together for five years, her boyfriend seems to want different things and won’t give her a clear answer as to whether or not she should expect a proposal soon or move on.
“I know he somewhat sees a future with me, but he always tells me that marriage doesn’t mean much to him and it wouldn’t really change our situation that much because he thinks marriage is just a social construct,” she said.
“I don’t agree. I think marriage is sacred, special, and a forever bond. He’s very logical, and I’m very emotional. We’ve been talking about this on and off the last two to three years, and I’m just getting tired and discouraged while waiting for him to be ready.”
Since she hasn’t been feeling particularly connected with or appreciated by her boyfriend lately, she’s been trying to do more for herself and focus on self-care. For instance, a few nights ago, she decided to go home early after work to spend some time alone and play video games instead of going straight to her boyfriend’s house.
Unfortunately, this incident made her boyfriend realize she was being distant, and instead of approaching her with compassion, he accused her of being “insensitive” regarding their relationship.
kiuikson – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
After this incident, she decided to sit down with her boyfriend and have a serious discussion, asking what he wanted for their future and if he planned on marrying her. She also took it as an opportunity to tell him about her doubts about their relationship.
“He said that the fact that I’m even telling him stuff like this is discouraging him from proposing and that I should do things to make him want to propose to me because he wants to take his time,” she recalled.
“[He wants to] feel like everything is ‘ready’ and ask our family members and stuff. He said those things take weeks. [After] that talk, I felt really hurt and offended and said, ‘Let’s just forget this happened.’ I felt so hurt that after all these years, he still doesn’t see me as worthy enough to just make it happen for us.”
Should she stay with her boyfriend and wait for him to propose, or move on and find someone who is more serious about marriage?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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