His Wife Cheated On Him In The Exact Same Way He Cheated On Her A Decade Earlier, And He’s Gutted
10 years ago, this 38-year-old man was freshly married to his 36-year-old wife, and they hit a difficult spot in their marriage.
His wife was super stressed out back then with her job, and they weren’t connecting in a way that was as exhilarating as it had been for them all along.
Then, he began second-guessing that marrying his wife was the right choice for him. He suspected that he had made an enormous error in making that kind of lifelong commitment to her.
Instead of trying to find help to work through his feelings in a productive way, he chose to cheat on his wife instead.
“I ended up seeking comfort in an online acquaintance I’d been talking to on a friendly basis, and things turned [steamy]; we were [sending messages] every day for a while and using Skype while my wife was working shifts,” he explained.
“This came to a head when, one day, my wife noticed Skype had been downloaded on the laptop, got curious, and found the chat logs. She confronted me in the heat of the moment; I took the laptop off her and deleted everything because I didn’t want her to be hurt by seeing all the details, the way I’d talked about her and my doubts about our marriage, let alone the cheating that had taken place.”
“I did admit [to] the cheating, which she had already gathered from what she had seen, it had only ever been online, and we moved past it eventually.”
Things did go on to be fine for them, but in the last handful of years together, everything has taken a turn for the worse.
The pressure that comes along with having kids and jobs has really weighed on him and his wife.
SERGEI – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
His wife revealed to him not that long ago that she missed being so close and really hoped they could make more of an effort.
He felt happy that his wife felt this way, but he says that because of day-to-day expectations and commitments, he never got around to making a genuine effort.
Then, he noticed his wife was on her phone a lot more, and he thought it was odd. So, one day when his wife didn’t have her phone in her hand, he went digging through it and discovered that she was sending photos and messages to a stranger on the internet.
He was so upset he immediately confronted his wife, and she snatched her phone away to quickly delete all of the messages, which is exactly what he did to her 10 years ago when she found out about his cheating.
She admitted to him that she had been flirting with a man online, and the reason she did this was because she was frustrated with their own relationship and his lack of interest in her.
“She said she still wants me and just wants to have more [of a connection] in our marriage,” he added.
“I’m unexpectedly struggling so much with her response of deleting everything because it feels like she is hiding things, but she says she doesn’t want me to be hurt by the details, which is hard to argue with given I did the exact same thing, and that was genuinely why.”
“How do we move on from this? I know a lot of people will say any cheating is a red line, but based on what I saw, I do believe this was purely an online thing where she didn’t even seem to know the guy’s name, I don’t think I can throw many years of marriage away over that and my wife has forgiven me [for] the same before. But I am absolutely gutted and struggling to reconcile what has happened and what I saw with who I know my wife to be.”
He’s just sad to have finally gotten a taste of his own medicine, and he doesn’t want to throw 15 years of marriage away for this.
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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